Naruto: Game of the Year
by antishock
Summary: Naruto dies fighting something that is many times stronger than the Jyuubi. He thought he could live happily in the afterlife, but the gods have to have fun sooner or later. Watch as Naruto learns that his life turns to a game and he defeats his enemies over and over again until he becomes insane! NarutoxHinata
1. Chapter 1

_**Warning: Naruto will be superpowered omegaly... Sakura (beginning Sakura, not shippuden), Sasuke, Civillian Council, and... peanut bashing?**_

_**Rated M for Mature not that you will listen to this anyways. There will be lemons later in the chapters. Probaly chapter 14... Derp.**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't and yet I do own Naruto in a fashion, for I own my version of Naruto, this story, yet I don't own the actual Naruto, so basically even if I said I owned Naruto you wouldn't be able to do anything. SUKAHS!**_

_**I don't care about flaming. All flaming does is inspire me to make it better to fit yours and my tastes. Also, sooner or later people will start saying I'm only doing this story for reviews. What is the point of wanting reviews? It is to see the happiness people have when they read my story. I am doing this story so I can read the reviews of joy. You can say that I am doing this for myself, but that is your opinion. Bye bye!**_

_**If you start to hate this story then don't read it. Simple as that. What is the point of flaming me if it means staying on my story longer when with that time you spent flaming you could've found a better story for yourself?**_

_**Yo guys, I decided to add all the chapters together into one! Every 4 chapters I'll combine them together with another chapter I haven't posted yet. Basically when I get to chapter 5, chapter 2, 3, 4, and 5 will be turned into chapter 2 along with an unposted chapter! Without further adue, I present to you...**_

Naruto: Game of the Year

CHAPTER ONE: I'M ALIVE!

Blood dripped off his face as he struggled to stand up. He wouldn't go down like this! Naruto Uzumaki was not one to give up! He is the Hokage, someone who will protect the village, even if the enemy is something stronger than the Ten-Tails, something that nothing can compare to. It was a million times stronger that the Jyuubi, but Naruto wouldn't give up. It infuriated the creature to no ends.

He knew why he couldn't defeat the monster. His feelings to train to protect the village weren't strong enough. That was what he thought. If only he was in his prime. If only he worked harder. The 93-year-old Kage sobbed as he thought of why he couldn't defeat this monster, demon, devil. Whatever it is. Naruto felt his body go limp as he struggled to breath.

"So this is it, huh. I lived ninety-three years just for nothing. Damnit. DAMNIT ALL!" Naruto screamed. "Why, why did this have to happen to me. Why did all the people I care for have to die. Shikimaru, Chouji, Ino, Sakura, Kiba, Shino, Sasuke, Lee, Teten, Sai and most importantly, my wife Hinata. Why the fuck did they have to FUCKING DIE! GOD DAMNIT!" Naruto yelled at the sky, cursing at whatever gods did this to him.

Naruto's blood lust improved to a high enough level that it did an impossible feat. It matched the KI of the fucker who killed everybody. No, that wasn't all. It kept going higher and higher, an end not even near. Naruto forced chakra to come out of him, he even used his own life force to add to the chakra. While his life force should've been weak due to his near death, being a Uzumaki had its advantage. An Uzumaki's life force was one to be reckoned with.

Naruto's chakra went off the charts, going beyond the demon. Even though Naruto managed to do this, the life force he used up will leave him with one out of a gazillion of his life left. That means one second after his chakra is gone he will die.

Naruto gathered 3/4 his chakra and focused it into one big attack. The creature who had turned the other way to deal with some other ninjas sensed the attack and actually was brought to its knees from the amount of chakra. The chakra was formed into a ball, using all the principles of Rasengan. Naruto squinted as he focused it into a smaller and smaller ball. Eventually it became the side of a piece of dust. Such a feat should be praised by everyone. To have the control of that amount of chakra is literally impossible. Well not anymore anyways, courtesy to shadow clones.

Naruto's hands began to go lower as the weight of all the focused chakra pushed down on him. He had to make it quick and he knew it. Naruto ran with the leftover chakra he had left and got closer to the monster every passing second.

The creature saw its doom coming very fast. If it didn't release all of its potential this second he would die. The monster closed its eyes and found all the chakra which he had sealed into itself incase of an emergency. It opened its eyes and saw the puny human almost next to him. What happened next was unbelievable.

Naruto was running, he was getting closer to the demon. He was almost there. ALMOST! He began to outstretch his arm when he tripped. Yes he tripped, on a doughnut that his friend Chouji had been eaten before he died. Weird, but the Akamichi clan always tried to eat something before they died. It was a honor to be able to.

Naruto fell down and at the same time gravity decided to make the chakra harder to hold. As he fell down, due to the weight of the chakra his arm bent backwards and went he hit the ground the chakra hit his body. It was humiliating.

The monster laughed at the death of the human. Just then the monster heard a "meow." It looked around and saw the a damaged cat who goes by the name, "Tora." This demon cat is the cutest thing it has ever saw. The cat was barely breathing though as one side was punctured by many rocks. The monster saw its state and guilt overcame it. It overflowed Tora with its chakra, killing it anyways (by accident of course.) The demon simply died as it has given the cat all of its chakra and life force.

All the ninjas there stared in shock as the strongest monster in the world was taken down by a cat. All it took was a fricking demon cat to destroy the monster. They then all looked at the destruction the Hokage had done when he killed himself. They all shook their heads, grieving the fact that the Hokage died by killing itself. If only the cat had lived. It would've made an excellent new Hokage.

* * *

Naruto groaned as his eyes fluttered open. He immediately shot upwards as he remembered the battle. Where was he? Naruto also realized something else. He wasn't in any kind of pain.

'How am I not in pain!' Naruto thought. He checked his body for any wounds but found none. How? He knows he should've gotten a scar somewhere. He stripped and checked himself over. Nothing on his face, nothing on his arms or stomach, nothing on his legs or feet, dick still intact thank you very much. Naruto gawked as he looked over his body for any damage. Naruto shook his head.

He had seen weirder stuff. Such as Sai actually having no dick, because it was cut off as punishment for not completing a mission. Naruto had winced at that one.  
Naruto then wondered where he was. he looked to his left and saw mist. He looked to his right and saw mist. He looked everywhere and saw mist. Naruto sighed. So this is the afterlife.

He could live with that. As soon as Naruto laid down a booming voice was, well, it was boomed. The words were, "**GAME** **OVER**!" Just then huge black words appeared in front of Naruto. Naruto grimaced. So his life was being treated as a fucking game? He could live with that. Just then a thought struck Naruto. He wasn't alive so how could he live with it. He just sighed at his stupidity.

The voice boomed again, this time saying, "**CONTINUE**?" Black words yet again appeared in front of Naruto. The words yes and no was under continue. Naruto just ignored it. Yet again the voice boomed saying the same thing. Then again. Then again. Then again. Then again. The trend continued for hours until Naruto lost it and yelled, "FINE, I SAY "**NO**"! GOD, SOME DIVINE FORCE OUT THERE MUST REALLY HATE ME!"

Somewhere in a divine place, a god named Susanoo sneezed.

As soon as Naruto said "**no**" the words dissolved and more words popped up. Oh great, his life was more of a game.

**-Main Menu**

**-New Game**

**-Load Game**

**-Help**

**-Options**

**-Avatars**

**-Achievements**

**-Objectives**

**-Character Stats**

Naruto looked at all the words and the best thing to do at the time would be to press Help. He outstretched his arms and tapped it. The words slid away and new words formed.

**-Help**

**-Guide**

**-Back**

**Guide Naruto, seeing the only thing he can press was guide, he of course pressed it. Words popped up and made up a paragraph which said, "In the game Naruto there are two kinds of saves. One save saves the stats while the other saves the game so if he or she dies she may respawn where she saved. The stat save can only be done in neutral areas such as Konoha unless there is a battle going on. Saving the game can only be done at save points put all around the map. You start off the game at level one and slowly progress. Each level provides you 10 stat points. Those stat points can be used to increase intelligence, strength, speed, chakra, chakra control, and or endurance. Each five levels gives you skill points which you may use to increase certain skills you also obtain along with the skill points. Every 10 levels you are given a reward. Instead of points you may get an item. As you grow into the higher numbers you get better and better prizes. In the world there are floating coins with white swirls that give you an upgrade on a random stat. There are other coins with red swirls instead that give you skill points to use. The red swirl coins are harder to find than the white ones. The most rarest coins in the game are coins with the face of Naruto on them. The coins give you a level up. Each 10 levels there is a level cap. To get rid of the cap you must complete a certain mission. There is no max level in this game. The level of one avatar does not go to another one, so if Standard Naruto is level 80, Female Naruko will still be level 1. To unlock an avatar your must complete a certain objective such as make Sexy Jutsu to get Female Naruko. At the beginning of a new game you will start at the very beginning of your life.**

**-Back**

Naruto pressed back. Once at the main menu he decided to press Options.

**-Options**

**-Mode: Easy**

**-Graphics: High**

**-Map: On**

**-Intro: On**

**-Assistance: On**

Back Naruto stared at the options. At least something was good for him. And hey, why was the mode on easy. Had he been playing easy all this time! Damnit, he really had to step up his game.

If things were going to be harder than what he already faced, then Hokage or not, he would still need to go on easy. Naruto shuddered at the thought of the mode being on hard and him fighting that crazily strong demon. Naruto pressed back and took him to the menu.

**-Main Menu**

**-New Game**

**-Load Game**

**-Help**

**-Options**

**-Avatars**

**-Achievements**

**-Objectives**

**-Character Stats**

Naruto looked at all the stuff again and then he saw something. Why were 2 of them not bold while the others were. Naruto tried to press Load game but it didn't work at all. He then tried to press achievements but the also didn't work. Naruto guessed that he would be able to save in his life and then he would be able to press load game. For achievements he guessed he had to do the stuff in Objectives. Naruto looked at all the other stuff he hasn't checked yet. He could tell what New Game means, but avatars? Character Stats were easy, but still, what are the avatars?

Naruto tapped the word and he felt as if he was being sucked into a black hole. The sensation stopped and he fell into a room full of people looking like him except there were different in tons of ways. For example, there was an avatar that looked how he looked when he used Sexy Jutsu. There was also another one that was just him. These two avatars looked bright and normal while the others were all shadowed. He walked up to the girl avatar and tapped her. He was surprised when words popped up randomly.

**Female Naruto, Naruko. Unlike Naruto Uzamaki she is a girl who's name is Naruko. Her Chakra Control is average, but her chakra is half that of the standard Naruto. She excels at Genjutsu and Ninjutsu, but is weak in Taijutsu. Her academics are highest in the academy.**

**-Chakra: Awesome(Yes Naruto still has lots of chakra even though it is cut in half.)**

**-Control: Average**

**-Taijutsu: Pathetic**

**-Ninjutsu: Good**

**-Genjutsu: Awesome**

**-Academics: Omega**

**-Affinity: Wind**

Naruto looked over everything this avatar had to offer. All of it seemed good, but he didn't like his chakra being cut in half and what good was it being smart if he can't bring his opponents down in Taijutsu. Naruto shook his head. He'll only use it if he wants to do seduction to learn tons of techniques without having to use Sexy Jutsu. Naruto went to the other avatar which he guessed was Standard Naruto. He tapped it and waited for the words.

**Male Naruto, Naruto. Naruto is the gender that is his real gender. His chakra control is pathetic, but to make up to that his chakra is that of a Kage at age 7. Standard Naruto excels at being an idiot with the worst grades in the Academy. Naruto is weak in Genjutsu and due to being hated he is average in Taijutsu. Ninjutsu is what he excels at, only if the technique requires lots of chakra and less control.**

**-Chakra: Kage rank**

** -Control: Pathetic**

** -Taijutsu: Average**

** -Ninjutsu: Good**

** -Genjutsu: N/A**

** -Academics: Pathetic**

** -Affinity: Wind**

Naruto walked away from Standard Naruto and looked at all the other Avatars. There were so much of them. One of them caught his attention though. It was Sage Naruto. This Naruto had rinnegan with its swirls and everything. Naruto tapped it and yet again waited for more words to come

**Information not allowed. Requirements to unlock: Level 50 or higher for 10 other avatars. Brush with death 100 times while fighting Orochimaru in one life. Defeat Madara in any Avatar without getting tired in difficulty Legendary.**

Naruto winced at that last one. He seriously had to defeat an overcharged Madara without getting tired. Okay, once he gets at least to level 1000 on one of his avatars he was not going to fight Madara on that difficulty. Hell no. And Naruto did not want to play tug-a-war with an omega Kyuubi over that damn bijuu's chakra, because he was definitely going to need it.

Naruto turned around and started walking to other characters. Uchiha Naruto, Yamanaka Naruto, Akamichi Naruto, Sarutobi Naruto, Dark Naruto, Senju Naruto, Naruto Inuzuka, Naruto Aburame, and many others.

Naruto was deep in thought now. Which one should he try to unlock first. Uchiha is out of the picture, because no fucking way was he going to be a lazy prick. Aburame is also out. Seriously, who would want bugs in their body? This left him with Yamanaka, Akamichi, Sarutobi, Dark Naruto, Senju, and Inuzuka. Now, why hasn't Naruto taken Dark Naruto out. Naruto is a person who tried to heal the wounds of others and himself so he might pick Dark Naruto to heal those wounds.

Naruto looked at all six of them. Sarutobi means that he is going to be in the same family as the 3rd Hokage. That would be nice, but he just realized something. His parents Minato and Kushina wouldn't be able to seal the bijuu in him because he would be in a different family. Naruto quickly took all of them out and went with Dark Naruto. At least he would have the Kyuubi sealed in him. If he was going to fight Madara he was going to fight with the Kyuubi.

Naruto thought about it again. This is a game, and he could tell he is the main character so no matter what he would have the Bijuu in him. "Meh." Naruto said as he tapped Dark Naruto. The words came yet again.

**Information not allowed. Requirements to unlock: Defeat evil self by age 10 in Standard Naruto. Get Tora to willingly go with you during a capture Tora mission on difficulty normal.**

Naruto sighed at the last requirement. Why does his life have to be so hard. Get Tora to go willingly along with him? That is fucking impossible. Naruto grumbled as he walked to Standard Naruto and touched him. Once he touched him he said main menu. Then the black hole sensation came yet again and he was back in the main menu. Naruto thought about it. Should he stay here or should he press New game.

After a few minutes he decided. New game it is. He tapped it and lights popped up everywhere. He was falling and on his way down he thought he saw a naked man doing the Harlem shake. 'Shit keeps getting weirder.' he thought as he continued to fall.

Naruto continued to fall into the abyss when all of a sudden he was tugged upwards a bit. The darkness that covered everything melted away into colors. Naruto was in a room with some people hunched over a woman who was howling in pain. They kept saying words to keep her calm as they tried to pull something out. 'What could possibly be coming out of a woman?' Naruto thought. Then, a miracle happened. A blonde baby came out and all Naruto could think was, 'Oh.'

Something tugged Naruto yet again and he was pulled into the baby's body. As soon as he landed he tried to speak or move his little chubby arms, but he couldn't. Not because he turned stupid due to having a baby's mind. No, Naruto kept his mind. The thing stopping him from doing anything was the pain gravity inflicted on him. Naruto quickly got used to it and he looked around.

The door to the remote location then just opened and a man in a mask was there. Naruto looked at the man and squinted. Naruto, without realizing that he was a baby said, "Aah, Obito my man, how are you?" That stopped Obito very quick. Everyone looked at the baby with horror on their faces as the baby talked. Babies shouldn't talk. Naruto looked at everybody in confusion. "What's wrong? Never seen a person talk. Seriously, stop looking at me like that. I'll have you know, I'm... Oh shit I'm a baby."

Kushina screamed and Minato was fumbling for a kunai he was sure he had. Once he got it in his hands he yelled at Naruto, "DIE YOU MONSTER!" As he pushed his kunai down.

Naruto did the only thing he could at that time. He screamed girlishly. Loud. So loud Minato dropped the kunai and it only scraped Naruto. Obito was still in the doorway looking in confusion. The baby knew his name. What the fuck is going on. Biwako all the while fainted under the pressure of a genius baby popping up and talking. The Anbu in the room remained cool, but they were ready to go to such lengths as suiciding just to know if this is a dream or not.

Naruto was still screaming. He jumped up and started running around the room. Minato found his courage to grab the kunai and chase Naruto. Kushina, like Biwako fainted under the pressure. "YO ANBU, A LITTLE HELP HERE PLEASE! CRAZY HOKAGE TRYING TO KILL ME!" Naruto yelled as he jumped over Minato and pushed Obito out of the way to run out of the room.

Minato look at the Anbu with fear in his eyes. "I give you orders to kill that baby on sight. If I'm correct, that baby might have all of mine and Kushina's memories. He is to be ranked as a S-rank baby criminal and is to be killed at all cost. This is a SSSS-Rank mission which I will also do. Fox, I want you to go to Konoha and tell all the ninjas, even the genin to kill him.

One year after that Naruto had control over the Land of Wind, Land of Water, Land of Lightning, Land of Earth, Wave Country, and Sea Country. Naruto was living the good life as a One-year old before Minato and fifty leaf shinobi raided his castle and killed him. Maybe he should do this again one day when he has better stats. Naruto shrugged as he slowly went limp when Kakashi in his Anbu mask rammed a Chidori through his heart.

* * *

Once again Naruto was met with the Main menu. Yet again Naruto picked New Game. The same thing happened. And this time the naked man doing the Harlem shake was more clear. And he had a friend. Naruto was traumatized through the ordeal.

Everything was the same as before. Kushina gave birth. Naruto was sucked in. But this time Naruto did not talk. He waited with all the patience he had. Obito came in and killed everybody. Naruto did not like that one bit. Naruto jumped up and poured chakra into his hands and punched the crap out of Obito. Obito went flying and died. Minato already had a kunai out and Naruto died yet again. What was he doing wrong?

'Okay, this time I'll absolutely make this. I wont die this time. I better not die this time. If I do I'm going to fucking go into sage mode and kill everybody with Rasenshruiken.' Naruto thought as he fell for the third time into the abyss. He passed the two naked Harlemers who had a dog with them this time. The dog had absolutely no fur on him. Naruto shut his eyes and hoped it was just a nightmare.

Once he landed in the room and was pulled into the baby's body he stayed still. The stillness scared everybody, but they soon forgot about him when Obito came in and started killing. Everything happened just like it did before Naruto learned his life was a game. It all led up to the Kyuubi being sealed in him. Man that hurt like a bitch. And he was so scared when the Kyuubi's claw was so close to him. He was sad that his mom and father blocked it with their bodies, but hey it was going to happen anyways. Naruto closed his eyes and waited for shit to happen.

After everything happened, Naruto was taken to this weird looking room with people looking at the seal on his stomach, looking for mistakes that might lead to the Kyuubi attacking yet again. After they saw that nothing was wrong with the seal, they let Naruto go with the third Hokage to the refuge camp. It saddened Naruto very much to see people crying for the loved ones they lost, and it wasn't even the fox's fault. 'Damn Obito, he is so dead. No mercy like I did with him before.' Naruto thought, his Killer Intent rising so high that Hiruzen actually fell to the ground.

'What is the feeling? It feels like I'm going to drop any minute. No one should have the high of a KI, and worse it's coming from Naruto. Why is the baby mad? Is it because of the Kyuubi?' Hiruzen thought. He rushed to the main refuge tent and placed Naruto down before running out of the tent so fast that all the other people in the tent wondered what was wrong. Then it hit them. Pretty bad. Those who were on the civilian council and couldn't stand even the littlest of KI hunched over and threw up. Naruto stared at all of them. He couldn't be that bad could he? Naruto quickly calmed himself to drop his KI letting the civilians and ninjas alike to actually be able to breathe.

After the KI incident was over and they all looked at the baby who the Third brought in for no clear reason, Hiruzen came back in with sweat all over him. He then felt glares sent right at him. All of the people there besides Naruto sent Hiruzen the look that meant, "WTF MAN!" Hiruzen just stood there and sheepishly rubbed the back of his head.

Finally someone decided to speak. It was Danzo. "Hiruzen, what is the meaning of you putting this child in here. I understand that the KI might hurt the civilians outside, but wouldn't it be better if you just put him somewhere else?" he said, not yet knowing that Minato sealed the Kyuubi in Naruto. "Also, where is Namikaze? I would like to speak to him."

Hiruzen normal face turned into a distraught one. Danzo looked at Hiruzen and understood. Minato was dead. The civilians were angry and the shinobis were just sad. People die all the time. It was normal for them. Hiruzen then looked at Danzo and said, "Minato died after he sealed the Kyuubi. His death was caused by a claw going through his body. Kushina Uzamaki is also dead, and for the same reason. As you know, a Bijuu cannot be killed for it will reform later, thus it has to be sealed." Hiruzen picked up Naruto. Everyone understood what that meant. This boy was a jinchuriki. Someone that held the Kyuubi at bay. Well that was true only for the ninjas in the council at the moment. The civilians took it as if the boy was a reincarnation of the Kyuubi. The civillians sneered at the baby. Hiruzen knew what was happening. Things were going to have to change.

Naruto stared and wondered. Did they all hate him this early? As soon as they were told what he was. Well that wasn't fair. 'Some divine force out there must really hate me.' Naruto thought.

Somewhere in a divine place Susanoo was in a fit of sneezes.

* * *

Naruto's first year in his game life went by pretty fast. He was already two years old and he was in the orphanage, trying to sleep over what the kids ramblings. He was 93 years old for Pete's sake. He shouldn't have to listen to girls go on about the guys they like or the guys trying to say how they'll be the best ninja ever. Heck, most of those people will be dead by the time they do their first mission. The last of them will be killed before they even get to do a mission. Naruto sighed as he pushed his face deeper into his pillow.

The whole year Naruto has been infuriated. He can't even go and get those coins. He found only one in the orphanage and all that did was give him a +1 in his strength. Naruto doesn't even know how much strength that gives him. Well he did punch a whole in the wall with barely any chakra usage, but hey, how was he supposed to know his limits.

As Naruto tried to desperately sleep, a boy picked him by the back of his shirt. Naruto doesn't know how, but he remembers this moment from his old life. He was two years old then and he didn't know how to defend himself so he was beaten up... That was going to change.

"Hello brat, I heard you were a real demon. That was what the adults told me, and they also told me to beat you up if I can. So here I comes!" The boy, no older than 7 said, thinking he was slaying a real demon underneath human skin. He pulled a fist back and struck, but he was not expecting to be tapped the "brat" with only a pinky finger, which by the way sent him through the wall and into the streets outside.

Naruto yawned. 'Time to get back to sleep.' he thought. He turned to his jacked up bed and jumped on it. Unfortunately for him, the matron of the orphanage was just coming back from shopping and saw the little display. She turned red and went to the knocked out boy and carried him inside. Once she placed him in the infirmary she went upstairs and kicked open the door. She walked up to where Naruto was and yelled at him. Curses were thrown at Naruto who looked at her with a bored expression, infuriating the matron even more. "OUT! GET OUT AND NEVER COME BACK AGAIN YOU DAMN KYUUBI BRAT!" Naruto continued to stare at her, but instead of a bored face he wore a smirk. The woman was scared. Why was a two year old smirking so evilly like that?

Naruto looked at her and put his hand up. He closed all of his fingers but his pointer and he wagged it. "Bad bad lady. You said S-rank secret. You lucky these kids no know what Kyuubi is." he said trying to sound like a baby as much as he can. The matron was horrified. He was right, she just said an S-rank secret and punishment was death. She could take this kid and kill him, but the kids in this room would tell people that she took Naruto somewhere.

The matron tried to put on a sweet and caring fa ade, but Naruto can see through it. He decided to play along. "Now now, Naruto-sweetie, let's keep this our little secret. Okay?" Naruto just smiled. The lady relaxed, but for some reason she felt something bad was going to happen.

Naruto looked at her and said, "Only one condition though!" he exclaimed. The lady looked at him and nodded. "Kurama wants to play with you!" The lady looked at Naruto weirdly. Who was Kurama? There was no kid in this orphanage named Kurama. "Kurama is Kyuubi's real name, Miss!" Naruto said. Fear dawned on the woman's face.

"FUCK NO KID!" she screamed, scaring the other kids in the room. Naruto hung his face down before chuckling darkly. Currently Naruto was trying to get the Kyuubi who is going along with the game thing, meaning he knows nothing about Naruto besides that he is a 2 year old brat. Naruto got so pissed he walked into the cage and grabbed the Kyuubi by its nose. The Kyuubi was shocked. How did this kid grab him so easily? Kurama was immediately interested and agreed to giving Naruto a very little amount of his chakra.

The matron felt a very dangerous aura come from Naruto. She took a step back and when she did so Naruto looked up. His eyes weren't blue anymore, no they were red and his pupil was narrowed like a demon. The lady was about to run, but Naruto caught her. "Kurama-san has taken an interest in youuuuu. He wants to maaaateeee." The poor lady almost fainted. She regained her composure and quickly shook her head, to scared to speak. Naruto looked at her and said, "Kurama-san said that he won't mate with you if you amuse him by doing the Harlem shake. Naked." Naruto was using his nightmares to his advantage.

The lady was quick to comply she stripped, and may I say, she is a very fat and ugly woman forcing Naruto to run away all the while screaming my eyes. Talk about a prank going wrong.

* * *

A twelve year old Naruto sat on his seat in an attempt to meditate. This wasn't a rare sight to anyone in the classroom he was in, considering that he has done it all of his life. His current life. Today was the day of the graduation exams which Naruto couldn't even recall. Seriously, who expects you to remember how you graduated?

Naruto was in the medative pose because he was trying to drown out the sound. To the people on the outside he seemed like he was calm, but on the inside he was raging. 'SHUT THE FUCK UP KIBA! NOBODY WANTS TO KNOW THAT YOUR DOG FUCKED ANOTHER DOG! AND INO, WOULD YOU PLEASE JUST BE QUIET FOR A SECOND! OH WAIT, THAT ISN'T POSSIBLE FOR YOU!' Naruto was thinking of saying those words. How did he deal with this in his first life? No one should be able to stand this.

"Sasuke Uchiha." A voice that came from a man named Iruka said.

"Hn" Was all that Iruka got in reply as Sasuke got up. As soon as Sasuke went into a room Iruka indicated to him Naruto opened his eyes. He was next. Finally! Now he can show what a real can do! All these years, Naruto has been hiding his skills. He hid all the techniques he knew and all the Taijutsu forms. He never let wisdom come out of his mouth and acted like an idiot.

After a few minutes Sasuke came back and Naruto was called. Naruto woke up and jumped from his seat, faking the happiness in taking the genin exam. Naruto popped open the door and ran into the test room. Mizuki was seated with a fake smile and Iruka sat down on his seat.

"Okay Naruto, to pass you must successfully do the Henge Jutsu, Substitution Jutsu, and the Clone Jutsu. You may take as much time as you need to do these techniques." Iruka said. Somewhere in the back of his mind he was hoping with so much hope that can make hope hope more than what hope has ever hoped before. He was hoping that Naruto would pass the Genin Exams. Not like the last two times where he failed. But Iruka also knew that Naruto hasn't even attempted to practice any techniques so he cant pass. Especially because all of his clones are dead looking.

Naruto looked at Iruka with amusement as he saw what Iruka was thinking just by looking at him. Naruto sighed then said, "Iruka sensei, the Clone Jutsu is impossible for me because of my Kage-Rank chakra. Kages can make clones, but they didn't have as much chakra as I have so they had more time to get control. Because of that, if I can do the other jutsus then you will have to let me pass. Last year, Rock Lee was allowed to pass even though he can't do techniques. I can't do the Clone technique so tada. I should've passed my first year, but no one decided to bring it up. The second year I forgot. This year I remembered. So blabla. Sexy Jutsu!" Naruto was intent on passing and he wasn't going to let that damn clone jutsu get in his way. Sure he could use Kage Bunshin, but it was more fun to surprise both teachers as he gave them a small lecture. If Naruto wasn't bottling in his emotions he would be laughing on the floor due to Iruka's face.

Anyways, back to the story Naruto transformed into a naked lady with steam covering his "parts". Iruka had a major nose bleed as he was shot backwards and Mizuki fainted before anything could happen to him. When Iruka got back he was more than angry. "NARUTO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING! TURNING INTO A NAKED PERSON WON'T HELP YOU ON THE BA-" Iruka's ramblings were interrupted by Naruto.

"Correction there Iruka-sensei. Look at Mizuki-sensei. He fainted and can easily be killed. You lost blood and you were also in shock from what I did so the same thing happens to you. Your dead." Naruto told Iruka. Yet again, Iruka was surprised from what Naruto said. Naruto was right. He could've died easily if it were a battle. Iruka closed his eyes. All the while Naruto just realized something.

In Naruto's first life, when the class was given a scroll that had the Henge technique on it, Naruto could only read some of the words on the scroll. Naruto couldn't believe he missed it! He knew the technique was an illusion, so why didn't his younger self realize that when he practiced it at home and sent his arm to the other side room, that he could actually physically change himself. And if he added to technique that sends the henge to other items to change it, then Naruto would be the most strongest ninja ever. The henge's limits is the limits of the users creativity and Naruto had lots of creativity. If he had realized this then Madara would be easy peasy. All Naruto would have to think` of is a metal that can not be broken no matter how strong the attack is and can also negate chakra from being used. The war would've went down faster.

Naruto shook his head in stupidity. Then a grin went to Naruto's face. "Hey, Iruka-sensei, I have a variation of the henge that I also want to try!" Naruto said. Iruka looked at him and nodded, thinking Naruto was lying and going to prank him. When Naruto went to the first hand seal Iruka covered his face, but nothing came. He took his arms down and looked at Naruto was also looking at him. "Hey! Don't you trust me! Anyways, Henge Jutsu!" Naruto said. Wood came out of the ground and Iruka looked at it. How does Naruto know the technique that sends illusions to other objects?

"Naruto, even though you can send illusions to other objects it won't get you extra credit." Iruka said in a matter of fact tone. Naruto looked at him weirdly. "What?" Iruka asked.

Naruto just grinned and he made the wood pick up Mizuki. "My henge isn't an illusion it is real." Iruka's eyes went wide. He was already scared when the wood that touched him was real, but actually having a variation of the henge jutsu that made the illusion physical? No one should be able to do this!

Iruka dropped his nice tone immediately, because here was something that can bring down a whole country easily. Iruka jumped up and grabbed Naruto by his shirt. "WHAT THE HELL IRUKA!" Naruto yelled as his feet dangled.

Iruka ignored his yells and asked, "Who taught you how to make it real!?" Iruka said in a menacing tone, all the while sending the killing intent at Naruto. He loved Naruto, yes, but this was very important.

Naruto looked at him and then a confused look went to his face. "What do you mean who taught it to me? I made it myself." Iruka gawked at him. Here was a student that made the strongest jutsu ever to be seen.

One week later Hiruzen stood down from being Hokage, and Naruto became it. Naruto took down all the ninja villages that Konoha wasn't in an alliance with and he turned his village into the ruler of the world!

Naruto was having fun inside his castle, but he needed fresh air. He opened to the door to his balcony and stepped outside. Somewhere across the world an old white haired pervert by the name of Jiraiya had his balls and dick taken off by a pissed of woman who was old despite her looks who went by the name of Tsunade Senju. Tsunade sent all of her chakra into throwing the three things she stole from the man. The balls and dick went flying. As soon as Naruto stepped out onto the balcony, three things went into his head, successfully killing him. Because of his hard head they stayed there. It isn't fun having your life taken by two balls and a dick.

Naruto woke up sighing. Here he was again.

**-Main Menu**

**-New Game**

**-Load Game**

**-Help**

**-Options**

**-Avatars**

**-Achievements**

**-Objectives**

**-Character Stats**

Naruto walked slowly to the buttons and tapped **Character Stats**. Words popped up, but by now Naruto was used to it.

**-Current Avatar: Standard Naruto**

**-Chakra: Kage rank**

**-Control: Pathetic**

**-Taijutsu: Average**

**-Ninjutsu: Good**

**-Genjutsu: N/A**

**-Academics: Pathetic**

**-Affinity: Wind**

**Stats**

**-Level: 4**

**-Intelligence: 3**

**-Strength:8**

**-Speed:2**

**-Chakra: ITS OVAAAH 9000! 0_0**

**-Chakra control:1**

**-Endurance:4**

**Skills**

**-WHERE'S MY MOOLA! (0/5) -Doubles the amount of money you get for missions for every skill point spent.**

**Points**

**-Skill Points: 1 - Would you like to spend? (Yes No)**

**-Stat Points:0**

Naruto stared. "What the fuck is up with my chakra? I KNOW FOR INSTANCE THAT MY CHAKRA IS OVER 38573289759823758923795! BITCHES! DON'T KNOW A TRUE CHAKRA BEAST WHEN THEY SEE ONE!" Naruto shook his head in anger. Who the fuck do these people think they are?

Once Naruto's anger subsided he looked at his skills. Seriously, **Wheres My Moola**! Naruto thought about keeping his skill point he got from a coin. "Meh." Naruto said as he touched the skill.

**-Do you want to use Skill Point on "WHERE'S MY MOOLA!? (Yes No)**

Naruto tapped yes when he realized something that has happened to him. "FUCK! I FORGOT THAT FOR SOME REASON EVERYTIME I GET MONEY IT DISAPPEARS! SERIOUSLY, DO I GOT A **BANK ACCOUNT** OR SOMETHING!

**-Bank Account**

**-Ryo: 14535642**

**-Withdraw (Only allowed in-game.)**

**-Deposit (Only allowed in-game.)**

Naruto's jaws dropped. All this time the money that he had disappeared into a bank account! And not just that, he was fricking rich. If he had WHERES MY MOOLA then he would've have double the money.

Naruto cursed as he went back to the main menu. Then a thought went through his head. What other stuff can he do? He immediately tried it out. "GIVE ME A FLYING PIG!" Suddenly a pig flew out of a black hole that appeared. On its back were wings that allowed it to fly. "Uhh, give me a cow?" Nothing appeared. "Give me a gold flying pig." Another portal appeared and this time a gold pig flew out. Naruto wondered why the cow didn't work. Maybe it had to do with something flying? "Give me a flying burrito." Nothing appeared. "Hmm, might need something to do with pigs. Give me a flying burrito with pork chops in it." A portal opened and a flying burrito popped out. Then a thought entered his mind. "GIVE ME 1000000 RAMEN WITH ONE PORKCHOP! A portal opened up and 1000000 ramen came out with a pork chop. Naruto laughed with maniacal glee. "THANK THE GODS ABOVE!" He yelled.

"Why thank you for the comment."

Naruto slowly turned around. "SO THERE IS A RAMEN GOD! I KNEW IT! BEAT THAT IRUKA-SENSEI!

In front of Naruto is what you can depict as a... well, a ramen bowl, with every kind of ramen with it. It had these weird le-... well they cant be called legs. They can be called noodles of the ultimate noodle fans that has been made by mad ramen minions which was given the idea from ramen fans, and those ramen fans were given the ideas from the lower ramen fans, which got the idea from a lesser ramen shop, aaaand were getting off topic here, aren't we? Anyways, the same thing can be said about its arms. Its eyes were googly eyes on one side with a smile that looks suspiciously similier to what happens to victims of SMILEX. Ehh, if Naruto's life can be a game, then the show Batman can be a real dimension.

"Yes Naruto, my young ramen lover, thee who is so close to becoming a ramen god like me, I have come to visit you in this game life that my less-liked cousin Susanoo made. The Child of Prophecy can't very well die from a monster he was supposed to destroy. But then again, not everything went according to plan when the 4th Shinobi War came. You were supposed to absorb the Jyuubi and win the war, but you didn't and Obito did instead. Kami gave Susanoo the ability to give only you the chance to survive over and over again till you gain the necessary skills."

Naruto took this all in and asked a question. "Then why didn't Kami just give me more strength?"

The ramen god, YOU KNOW FUCK IT IM NAMING HIM BOB! Bob said, "Then what would be the point of trying to gain entertainment from mortals?" Naruto fumed. So all of this was for fun. "Why yes its for fun. And yes, I just read your mind. Your world isn't the most important one you know. There are plenty of more important worlds and there are also some worlds where menaces of society have to be killed by us minor gods. The only person no one can seem to kill is that Justin Beiber. When he screams it is havoc! I haven't had a decent sleep because of him. I never thought anyone's voice could be THAT squeaky. And he is a guy! Sometimes I think he is gay... His rank is SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS rank due to his scream. Never fuck with him. Oh and did you know, in that world people are much more stronger than us if they want to be? Multiple dimensions are made from what they made like anime and such. Your base dimension was made from the anime Naruto. This dimension is made from someone named.. What was his name again? Oh yeah, its Anthony. Anyways, back to the problem at the beginning, due to a request from Kami, I am giving you a reward for figuring out about your henge. You unlocked Time Travel Naruto. He has the stats of Standard Naruto except for the fact that he is in a different time. You won't be born from someone, no, you would be from your timeline just back in time. Maybe you could torture your dad. He deserves it. DID YOU KNOW HE HATES RAMEN!"

Naruto gasped. His father hated ramen. "FATHER OR NOT HE IS GOING TO DIE! NOBODY HATES RAMEN WHILE I'M AROUND I SHALL KILL MY FATHER! I SHALL KILL HIM EVEN IF HE SAYS HE LIKES RAMEN, BECAUSE THAT WILL BE A FAKE LOVE FOR RAMEN!" All of a sudden a gold tornado formed around Naruto.

"I- it can't be. I knew you were close, but to be this close! KID I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! YOUR A RAMEN GOD!" Bob yelled.

The gold tornado subsided and a excited and suprised Naruto came out. "Thi- This power. I feel invincible. WITH THIS POWER, I SHALL RULE THE WORLD! RAIN OF RAMEN!" Ramen in bowls fell in the already giant crowd of ramen. Naruto licked his lips. Now that he was a ramen god he could eat for as long as he wanted. One second later no more ramen was seen. Naruto looked back at Bob and asked, "What are my limits?"

"Hmm, well you can't do anything that doesnt involve ramen. That is your only limit." Bob said, not even realizing that Naruto already figured out how to exploit it.

"So, if I say I want ramen with something else, I'll get it?" Bob nodded. "OKAY THEN! I WANT RAMEN THAT GIVES ME THE POWER OF KAMI!" Thunder boomed and then a figure appeared in between the two ramen gods.

"I see that you have found a hole in my law young one. I will not hurt you because you didn't go pass the limit, but the only way to gain my power is to absorb me. Instead I shall give you the power to make someone who hates ramen love it. NOW YOUNG ONE ARE YOU PREPARED TO SAVE YOUR DAD FROM THE DARKNESS OF NO RAMEN!"

"YES I AM KAMI-SAMA"

"OKAY THEN HOLD MY HAND!"

"KAMI-SAMA!"

"NARUTO!"

"KAMI-SAMA!"

"NARUTO!"

Bob took a step backwards and muttered, "No, how could this happen. This only happens when two are in perfect harmony. A newly established god and Kami-Sama shouldn't be in perfect harmony. Its just a dream. Yes, its just a dream. Its all going to end soon. Yes, its going to end soon."

"KAMI-SAMA!"

"NARUTO LETS DO THIS!"

"HAI KAMI-SAMA! WE SHALL DESTROY THE HATRED THAT HAS PURGED MY FATHER'S HEART!"

"NARUTO! FOR YOUR DEEDS OF A RAMEN LOVER LIKE I, I SHALL GRANT YOU TWICE THE AMOUNT OF CHAKRA YOU WOULD EVENTUALLY HAVE WHENEVER YOU TURN SIX IN EACH GAME!"

"I LOVE YOU KAMI-SAMA!"

"I LOVE YOU TO NARUTO!"

"KAMI-SAMA, HOW MUCH LONGER ARE WE GOING TO WAIT!"

"TEN MORE SECONDS!"

10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

*Fart* "FINALLY! THAT BUGGAH BEEN ANNOYING ME FOR THE PAST CENTURY!" Kami yelled. Naruto looked dumbstruck. Was he even going to be able to go ba- "COME NARUTO! SMELL IT AND IT SHALL GIVE YOU THE POWERS I HAVE GRANTED YOU AND GIVE YOU THE BACK IN TIME CHARACTER!"

Naruto shrugged. The fart couldn't be that bad. Could it? He took a step forward and took in a deep breath. "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-" A vortex appeared and ripped Naruto into the character selection.

* * *

Naruto shivered as he sat on the floor. How could a fart be so disgusting. He shook his head. He was not going Sissy-Uchiha mode. Naruto quickly got up and searched for the time travel character. When he found it, he of course went up to it and tapped it. What did you think he was going to do? Eat Santa?

Words pop up. They never seemed to fail us.

**Male Naruto, Time Travel Naruto. This Naruto has all the same stats as Standard Naruto except for the fact that he is back in the Fourth Hokage's time. His chakra control is pathetic, but to make up to that his chakra is that of a kage at age 7. Standard Naruto excels at being an idiot with the worst grades in the Academy. Naruto is weak in Genjutsu and due to being hated he is average in Taijutsu. Ninjutsu is what he excels at, only if the techniques requires lots of chakra and less control.**

**Chakra: Kage rank**

**Control: Pathetic**

**Taijutsu: Average**

**Ninjutsu: Good**

**Genjutsu: N/A**

**Academics: Pathetic**

**Affinity: Wind**

Naruto of course said "**main menu**." What did you think he was going to say? "I eat pedophiles for breakfast?"

Somewhere in an alternate universe Orochimaru shivered.

A vortex popped up and Naruto was taken into it of course. What di- Okay okay, these jokes are getting old.

Once Naruto entered the so glorious white box of nothingness - which for some reason has a shrine in the world of SpongeBob - he pressed new game and he fell. Yet again the random Harlem shakers shaked their BOOTIES! What made it worse was that... Bob was with them...

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"

Once Naruto landed in the air he saw his baby self again. So all he had to wait was to go into the baby then be sent into the past. Yada yada. After a few seconds the tugging sensation still wasn't there. Then it happened.

Once second everything was more normal, then, like a hungry pedophile after an Uchiha, everything just zoomed by. It went so fast Naruto could only make out random colors. Then it stopped. What Naruto was looking at was a twelve year old him. "Meh, at least I'm not a baby." Then he felt the tugging sensation. He went along with it willingly and next thing he knew he was in the body that was currently sleeping. Naruto sat up from his position when a major amount of chakra appeared. A portal appeared and sucked Naruto into it.

When Naruto landed he looked around. Where was he? All he saw were these weird buildings and a huge crowd of people near a stadium. Naruto, curious as he is, went to the stadium.

ONce he got there he heard some music. He walked closer and then he heard words.

"We're no strangers to love. You know the rules and so do I! A full commitment's what I'm t-"

"OOOH MY GOOOD! STOOOOP! THIS IS MADNESS!" All the people in the crowd then turned to him. He then realized something. They all looked the same. And for some reason he knew they were gay. Then Naruto saw something on all of their shirts. It said "Hi, I'm Justin Beiber." Naruto then ran. Then the screaming started. Naruto tripped over a rock during his escape and next thing he knew he was being dogpiled by the Justin Clones. Another Justin then walked towards the dog pile, his arms linked with Rick.

"And then he tried to kiss me. You know, I think I may like you. Wanna go out?" Justin asked Rick.

"Nah, I think I might get that chunk of hotness in that dog pile over there." Rick responded.

Naruto paled. He had to get out. He definitely needed to get out. Why has Kami done this to him. What has he done to deserve this?

"BECAUSE I WANTED TO BITCH! YOU GOT RICK JUSTINED!" Then a portal appeared and Naruto was sucked in. Why was his life so crazy?

* * *

Naruto landed right back in the white box of awesomeness. He pressed the character selection and was sucked into a room. Yay. He went and tapped Standard Naruto. Whoope. Big surprise there.

Yet again he pressed New Game. Yet again he fell down into a void. Yet again - Fuck, Justin's in the Harlem...

Everything turned colorful and Naruto saw the room he was in with Kushina crying out. Naruto all the while wondered about something. 'Can I **fast forward** this to at least when **five**?' You saw the boldy wordies. I'm sure you know what happens.

Everything blurred very much like when he was pranked by Kami. HOPEFULLY Kami kept her deal about the chakra.

Everything then came to an abrupt stop. He was in the Hokage's tower. Naruto felt the tugging sensation and was pulled into the five year old body.

When Naruto was in his body he noticed that everything was gray. Naruto tried to stand up and of course, me wanting to be fair and not give Naruto the awesomnness of moving around and then unpausing in that area, making it seem like he disappears and reappears, well, I WONT LET HIM! Derp.

Naruto tried to turn his head but found it stuck. Then out of nowhere, huge words popped up.

**-Congratulations. New achievement: Fast Forward. Requirements: Figure out how to speed up life at the beginning of a new game. Stats Upgraded: Intelligence (base: 3) +4. Exp gained: 30. (436/500)**

Naruto let the gracious feeling of the stats go into him. He never knew how it felt to have his Intelligence upgraded. And why does it taste like squid?

Somewhere in an alternite universe a sponge and a starfish are crying.

**Congratulations.**

'Another one?' Naruto thought.

**You have unlocked the Luck Stat. Requirements: Intelligence 7, Strength 8, Speed 2, Chakra ITS OVAH NINE THOUSAND, Chakra Control 1, Endurance 4.**

"Aah, so thats why I didn't have it before." Naruto said as he read over everything.

**Your Luck Stat has been set to 80. Exp gained: 50. (486/500)**

**Hints: You can access your stat menu by saying Uzumaki Naruto Stats. From there you can either check your stats or assign points by saying how much points go into each stat.**

Naruto looked at that. Why does that make him think of something. Oh yeah! He forgot to assign his 40 stat points that he got from leveling.

**"Uzumaki Naruto Stats."**

**Uzumaki Naruto Stats -Level: 4**

**-Intelligence: 7**

**-Strength: 8**

**-Speed: 2**

**-Chakra: Its OVAAH 9000!**

**-Chakra control: 1**

**-Endurance: 4**

**-Stat points: 40**

**- Would you like to spend? (Yes No)**

Naruto tapped yes and quickly sorted out his stats. "5 points into each stat. Last 10 into chakra control." Once the stats finished being upgraded Naruto nodded.

Slowly the gray faded away and Naruto was assaulted with memories of everything that would've happened on the normal course of events. Naruto sighed as he left the building which he had talked to the Sandaime about how spaghetti was a waste of noodles that could've been perfectly used for ramen. Get ready world, cause Naruto Uzumaki is coming to town. He's going to scare your cookies and poke twelve and thirteen year olds butts. That is Kakashi's job though. Wouldn't be nice to steal it.

* * *

_**2** **years** **later**_

**-Alert- Update V.12- Would you like to install? Yes No.**

Naruto looked up at the update. "So there are updates. That is nice." He said out loud while eating his daily 40 ramen bowls. All the other people in the stall looked at him in confusion. Oh, and don't forget disgust because he is the "demon boy".

"Hmm, install or don't install. Oh fuck it, hopefully nothing bad happens. **Yes**." As soon as Naruto said that the words dissolved and a bar appeared in front of him. It read 0% and was slowly going up.

**-Would you like to read the installments? Yes No.**

**"Yes"**

**-Strength glitch fixed. 1 upgrade for strength cant break walls.**

"Oh fuck you. I like punching walls and then throwing people through it." Yet again more confusion amassed.

**-Inventory added. Now when you touch a ninja tool or an objective item it shall disappear into your inventory. To get back item say "inventory" and touch the item you want.**

"Well thats nice. On missions people cant steal an item I got if it disappears."

**-Alert- Adding new update to update log.**

"Oh another one?"

**-Inventory does not make item disappear and instead puts it into a holding place on your person.**

"FUCK! I should've kept my mouth shut..." Now the people in the stall think he is on crack.

**-New characters to unlock. To check new characters go to menu and then to character selection.**

"Whoope doo. I betcha it is just going to be something stupid.

**-Alert- Stupid Naruto unlocked!**

"DAMN IT!"

**-Sage Naruto requirements changed. To see the new changes go to menu and then to character selection.**

**-Removed Herobrine.**

"Who's Herobrine?"

**-Added Advanced learning system. To use, tap a scroll and in exchange for 10000 ryo you may learn the scrolls content in a minute.**

**-Added Sand box mode. Must unlock for use.**

**-Alert- Update finished.**

"Well the updates are nice. Not all of them though." Naruto said, still remembering the Stupid Naruto. "Anyways, I still have to check the new characters. Here we go! **Open Menu**. **Character Selection**. Ahhh. The vortex of doom is so scary. Not." A vortex opened up under Naruto and time has stopped in the real world before it appeared.

Naruto landed on the floor of the character selection room and he started looking around at the new characters.

"Lets see here. **Stupid Naruto. Worthless Naruto. Martyr Naruto. Maniac Naruto. Lucky Naruto. Smart Naruto. Strong Naruto. Average Naruto. Badass Naruto. Emo Naruto. Sad Naruto. Good Naruto. Medic Naruto. Genjutsu Naruto. Plumber Naruto**. Wait, what! Oh fuck you game. I hate you."

"We hate you too." a voice randomly said.

"Okaaaay... Anways,** Builder Naruto. Seal Naruto. Perfect Naruto. Godly Naruto. Ninjutsu Naruto. Taijutsu Naruto. Playboy Naruto. Merchant Naruto**. And finally **Nine-Tails Naruto**. AWESOME! I get to be the Kyuubi! To bad the only character I have unlocked so far is **Stupid Naruto**. Why haven't I unlocked **worthless Naruto** yet? Shouldn't he be worse?

**-Alert- Worthless Naruto unlocked.**

"Thanks even though this does nothing for me!"

**-Alert- Pain setting set to 8/10 from 1/10**

"OKAY OKAY! I WON'T BE A SMART ASS ANYMORE! JUST PLEASE SET IT BACK!"

**-Alert- Pain setting set to 1/10 from 8/10**

**-Alert- New character added. Begging Naruto!**

"Okay so that is all the characters that are new but what about the Sage Naruto?" Naruto wandered around until he came up to Sage Naruto. He tapped it and the requirements came up.

**-Information not allowed. requirements to unlock: Level 50 or higher for 10 other avatars. Brush with death 100 times while fighting Orochimaru in one life. Defeat Madara in any Avatar without getting tired in difficulty Ledgenary. Defeat Pain in less than a minute. Bring peace to the world at the age of 15. Defeat all 5 kages in combat at once by the age of 12. Find a way to defeat the Jyuubi's container, Obito without sage mode. Requirements Rank: Godly gods of godly godiness god godly ledgendarious.**

"Dang, the update made the requirments harder. Anways, **Exit**." Naruto was pulled out of the character selection and into the main menu. "**Continue**." The menu disappeared and Naruto was back in the ramen stall.

"Naruto?" Ayame asked. "Are you on crack?"

"Of course I am! Why do you think I like orange!"

"Oh. That's nice."

Naruto finished the rest of his bowls and left the shop. A kid walked by him and then he saw something. Kakashi Hatake Aka Butt Poker sneaked up and used his thousand years of pain technique on the poor kid. Naruto shivered. He definitely did not want that job.

* * *

Naruto Uzumaki's Eight Birthday

Naruto sat at the table in his apartment alone by himself. On his birthday...

"Happy Birthday.. to me.. Happy Birthday.. to m- Oh fuck it. Hey, Anbu guy, right outside my window five millimeters next to a ladybug with exactly 5 spots on it, come in here and celebrate with me!" To say the Anbu was surprised was false. How does a knocked out person become surprised? "Meh, your choice. Have a nice dream!" Naruto said with vigor as he dug into his ramen flavored cake. "NOM NOM NOM! RAMEN MONSTER HERE TO EAT U!" A second later there was no ramen left. "Aww. Its all gone. I guess I'll have to do this. _RAMEN CAKE JUTSU!"_ A plump cake that yet again tastes like ramen appeared in front of him.

"Ughh." The Anbu guy said as he woke up due to the delicious smell of ramen. Hypnotized by it he walked forward and swiped it off of Naruto's table.

"WHAT THE FUCK! GRRAAH! _OUTWARD PHYSICAL HENGE: ICHA ICHA GAY VERSION_!" A book of gay porn appeared in mid air opened, and it landed on the Anbu's face.

"I SHALL NOT FALL! THE TRUE ICHA ICHA BOOKS ARE WITH ME FOR I AM KAKASHI HATAKE! _RAITON: CHIDORI_!" The now identified Anbu yelled as he ripped through the gay book.

"OH YEAH BEAT THIS! _OUTWARD PHYSICAL HENGE: ICHA ICHA CHAINSAW EXTERMINATOR_!" A chainsaw randomly appeared and ripped through Kakashi's loved book.

"NOOOOOO!"

* * *

Naruto rushed into the classroom as soon as the bell rang. He wiped the sweat off of his face and walked to his seat. The teacher, Iruka, came in and started to call roll call when a knock came to the door.

"Come in!" Iruka called.

The door slowly opened to show Uchiha Itachi and the weird shark guy. Yeah...

"Naruto-san, please come with us." Itachi said calmly as if a red faced Sasuke that had a kunai never existed.

"ITACHI! I SHALL KILL YOU!" Sasuke roared as he ran at Itachi.

"Foolish little brother. You rush at me with no form. Have you not learned the style of the Uchiha! YOU CANNOT BEAT ME IF YOU HAVE NOT BECOME A TRUE BALLERINA!"

"I SHALL SHOW YOU THAT I AM A TRUE BALLERINA!" Sasuke yelled as he rushed Itachi who somehow got a tutu on without no one knowing. They had a small battle of leaps and twists until Sasuke fainted.

**-Alert- glitch fixed. Returning to beginning of class.**

Everything blurred and it stopped suddenly. Iruka came into the class room. He said roll call yet again. "Choji Akamichi!"

"Here!"

A knock came to the door. "Come in!" Iruka called.

The door open and you know who came in.

"Naruto-san, please come with us." Itachi said calmly as if a red faced Sasuke that had a kunai never existed.

"ITACHI! I SHALL KILL YOU!" Sasuke roared as he ran at Itachi.

Itachi ran at such a speed that no one could follow him and gave Sasuke a viscous chop to the back of his neck causing Sasuke to faint. All the while Naruto was thinking of something.

'This never happened before. Did this happen because I stole all of Nagato's underwear and replaced them with Konan's underwear? Meh.'

"As I was saying before, Naruto-san, please come with us and bring money to pay the medical bill for our leader." Itachi said yet again.

"I say we just rip off his legs and steal his money and take him with us!" Kisame interjected.

"Hold on, I need to do something, Itachi-san, Kisame-san. Okay, lets see here. **Naruto Uzumaki Stats**. Ooh, I have 50 points that for some weird reason I never felt the need to spend. Lets put them all into **luck**. Oooh, another skill point. Lets see here. Should I do **Wheres My Moola Or do Tug a War**? Lets just do **Tug a War**. So I have 20% percent of old fuzzy's chakra. Nice.

As soon as Naruto said this the Kyuubi felt the need to talk back.

"Go to sleep damn fox. I dont want to listen to your ramblings! OH NO YOU DIDN'T!" Naruto said as he retorted to some of Kyuubis... 'colorful' comments.

"Naruto-san, you can talk to the fox?" Itachi asked.

"Well what do you think! And please don't interrupt my conversation. It is already hard trying to find comebacks as it is! NO FUZZY BUNNY! I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT MY MOTHER IS NOT A WHORE!  
HOW DO I KNOW!? WELL LETS SEE HERE YOU LITTLE FUCKER! SHE HAS A TENDECY TO ATTACK ALL OF THE BOYS BESIDES HER HUSBAND! WHY WOULD SHE LET SOME MEN FUCK HER! HECK, THE MEN WERE PROBALY SCARED OF HER, SO HOW DOES SHE BECOME A WHORE! HUH WHY DO YOU THINK SHE IS ONE OF THE MOST FAMOUS NINJAS IN KONOHA! OH YOU DID NOT JUST GO THERE!" Naruo yelled.

"Naruto-san, no matter how much I find this amusing, we must go." Itachi stated.

"Hold on Itachi. How about we decide if I go or not by a game of cards. I have a deck right here! _Outwards Physical Henge: Deck of Cards_!" A deck of cards appeared on his desk.

"May I ask how you managed to make a physical henge?" Itachi asked.

"Nope!"

"Okay. Also, I agree to your little deal. I'll have you know, I am called the exact opposite of the Legendary Sucker."

"Hehe."

A few minutes later in the classroom, which for some reason doesn't have Konoha ninjas swarming it trying to arrest Itachi, Naruto finished the game with a royal flush.

"I win!" Naruto yelled.

"How is this possible." Itachi moped. "To regain my lost pride I shall kick Sasuke until he wakes up and then tie him up and give him to the Uchiha's curse: Fangirls."

Itachi did as he said and the only thing that was heard was a screaming Sasuke and sounds of rape by fangirls. Oh, and don't forget the occasional fanboy.

"Wow, Itachi, I know your an evil S-rank ninja, but isn't that a bit to cruel." Naruto asked.

"Nope!" Itachi said cheerfully. "And because of me losing the deal, me and Kisame are going home!"

They both left the classroom and the only people left were the students, Naruto, and Iruka.

"What just happened?" Iruka asked, shell shocked.

"Its okay Iruka-sensei, we all know it is just to bloody troublesome to think about it." Shikamaru said.

**Congratulations. New achievement: Poker With the Pocky Man. Requirements: Play poker with Itachi and win. Stats Upgraded: Luck (base: 136) + 34. Exp gained: 120 (955/1540)**

**Congratulations. New achievement: I Am A Weird Fighter. Requirements: Defeat a boss in a weird way. Bonus: True Time Traveller Character. Exp gained: 240 (1195/1540)**

**Congratulations. New achievement: I Wont Back Down. Requirements: Talk back to Kyuubi and win. Stats Upgraded: Intelligence (base:44) +19. Exp gained: 305 (1540/1540)**

**Congratulations. You leveled up! You are now level 14! To reach level 15 you must get 1650 Exp.**

**-Hint: You have one reward point. To use, please say Naruto Uzumaki Reward.**

**"**Well that's nice**. Naruto Uzumaki Stats. All into strength. Naruto Uzumaki Reward."**

**-Alert- Reward: Hyton Bloodline.**

"AWESOME!" Naruto yelled out.

"Naruto, even though I don't know what the hell happened please do not yell. I need to clear my head before we start class." Iruka said.

"Hai sensei."

* * *

"So Naruto," the Hokage started, "Am I correct to assume that you pranked the leader of this "Akatsuki" that are hunting down the bijuu which caused the leader to send nuke nins to Konoha to get you to pay for the medical bill which was needed for the damage the leader got from the female member. Also, you know about the Kyuubi. *Sigh* Naru-"

"Blah blah blah. I know that there was no choice and I was the only new born that day. And I also know that the fourth wouldn't be selfish and seal it into someone else's child so he used his own child, me." Naruto interrupted.

"I dont know how you know that but yes. That is correct."

"So can I get my inheritance?"

"No Naruto, Minato said that when you reach the rank of chunin you will get it. You aren't even close to the rank of chunin."

"_Outwards Physical Henge: A Million Gay Icha Ichas_!" A million books about gay porn fell on top of the third and of course he fainted.

When he came to, the first thing he asked was if that was a physical henge.

"Yes, that was a physical henge. I put the henge around the air and bam! You got a random thing popping out!"

"Naruto, may you tell me how you did it? That technique is very strong a-"

"Did you ask my father about how he made rasengan and his hirashin? No you didn't. This is my signature move and so its mine. Oh and also, with my technique and my chakra amount, I am basically kage-level. My jutsu balances it all out because all I need to do is henge myself into a more fit person to fight."

"Wow. I am sorely tempted to graduate you because you are kage level, but the council would give me a hard time, so sorry Naruto, I can't graduate you."

"Damnit." Naruto said. He thought that because of his henge he would graduate, but it seems that he has to go to graduation then show his henge and THEN he would be promoted to Hokage a week later.

"Also, Naruto you do realize that your technique is not safe from Sasuke Uchiha once he gets his sharingan."

"I already know, so I studied some fuinjutsu and I can safely say that I am able to stop the sharingan from stealing any jutsus from me as long as my seal is on my person."

"... Naruto, you do realize that for many years, fuinjutsu masters have tried to find a way to stop sharingan and you just made a seal for that. Either you are lucky are you are just very good at seals."

"I read the Toad Sannin's books and did all the tests that it provided. I finished all the tests so I am basically a seal master."

"That is not possible! How did you become a seal master at such a young age! And when did you start to study seals anyways!?"

"Yesterday."

"Oh fuck me. Minato, I can't believe it. You got a genius child! Though I dont understand something. Why are you deadlast if you are this smart Naruto?"

"Well lets see here. Civillian council hates me and tries to stop my progression. Villagers hate me and try to stop my progression. Some ninjas hate me and try to stop my progression. If I showed I am smart then what do you think they'll do to me."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh."

"Sooo."

"So what?"

"So if you are kage level, then why didn't you stop Uchiha Itachi when you had the chance?"

*sigh* "Old man, Sasuke wants to kill Itachi. Council loves Sasuke. I kill Itachi. Sasuke hates me. Council hates me. Clear enough?"

"Yes. And Naruto, what in the world gave you the idea to prank the leader of a group that is chasing after you?"

"Oh, nothing besides the fact that if the leader wants to he can just come to the village and erase it easily. He far surpasses kage level. The only one who could fight him is me because I basically have unlimited chakra. What I mean by that is the amount of chakra my henge needs is accumulated by the size of my henge. If I make a stick it would be a dot of chakra. Therefore,  
I reasoned that I can make chakra out of chakra. I make chakra that is about as big as a stick and it only costs a dot of chakra. Bam. Dead leader! The leader does have the advantage of having Rinnegan though. And yes, I did say Rinnegan."

"Oh my. Now I really want to promote you if you can make chakra out of chakra. By the way Naruto, didn't you just give the leader a reason to attack Konoha?"

"Nope. The female member would stop his attempts because she would think he is just trying to blame someone or something. I bet she is already beating him up for sending Itachi and Kisame to me."

"That also brings another question. I know you can't take down Itachi because of Sasuke, but why didn't you kill Kisame?"

"Why the hell not?"

"Because he is a nuke nin."

"And?"

"And nuke nin are evil."

"So."

"So he could kill you one day because you left him alive."

"Uhuh, I am totally listening."

"Damnit Naruto! He is evil and will kill you for pete's sake!"

"But I thought Ninjas were in the gray? Not in the white or black but in the middle. How can he be evil?"

"While you do have a point there Naruto, he is a threat to us."

"And that is why I have 8463 pranks waiting for him at the Akatsuki's base. He is going to want to kill himself for the himulation."

"When did you have time to leave to the Akatsuki's base?"

"You should really add more protection to the Forbbiden Scroll. It was easy as hell to open it up and learn Shadow Clone Jutsu in a hour."

"A hour?"

"Yes, you heard me, I did something that takes most people weeks to do. I learned shadow clone jutsu in a hour. And that is also why I am a fuinjutsu master. Clones and their memories."

"Oh, I don't if I should hug you for your accomplishments or put you in jail for treason."

"Even if you chose the latter I'll break out. What do you expect from someone who can prank the whole village in one day without anyone seeing me and then when the ninjas assume it is me, even the ANBUs can't catch me!"

"True. Should I assume you used a shadow clone to set the traps at the Akatsuki's base? One clone is not enough to set 8463 traps though."

"Nah, I sent 1400 clones."

"I dont even want to know how you can manage that."

"So can I leave? This has been a pointless conversation that shouldn't even be in this story."

"DONT BREAK THE FOURTH WALL NARUTO!" The third smacked Naruto on his head hard.

"Okay okay.

* * *

Naruto sat in his dusty old apartment. "Okay, lets see here. **Game Shop."**

**-Welcome to game shop! Current Ryo: 54052643**

**Upgrade Coin Maker: Makes a coin that adds 10 for each stat at placed spot. Permanent. Travels through games. Amount: 20000000 Buy (Yes No)**

**Automatic Level up: Levels you up by 1. Amount: 100000 Buy (Yes No)**

**New Player: Make a side character a playable character. Amount: 100000000 Buy (Yes No)**

**Maxter: Max all your stats and levels. Amount: 5000000000 Buy (Yes No)**

**Kunai: Ninja weapon. Amount: 60 Buy? (Yes No)**

**Shruiken: Ninja weapon. Amount: 60 Buy? (Yes No)**

**Blank Scroll: A blank scroll for information or seals. Amount: 100 Buy? (Yes No)**

**Katana: Ninja weapon. Amount: 250 Buy? (Yes No)**

**Tanto: Ninja weapon. Amount: 200 Buy? (Yes No)**

**Paper Bomb: Ninja weapon. Amount 500: Buy? (Yes No)**

**Ramen: Food. Heals and gives chakra at a small amount. Amount: 30**

**Random Jutsu: Gives a random Jutsu that can be strong or weak. Amount: 100000**

**Luck Elixir: Maxes Luck for 30 minutes. Amount: 10000**

**Strength Elixir: Maxes strength for 30 minutes. Amount: 10000**

**Speed Elixir: Maxes speed for 30 minutes. Amount: 10000**

**Intelligence Elixir: Maxes intelligence for 30 minutes. Amount: 10000**

**Chakra Elixir: Maxes Chakra for 10 minutes. Amount: 100000 Buy? (Yes No)**

**Control Elixir: Maxes Chakra Control for 10 minutes. Amount: 100000 Buy? (Yes No)**

**Endurance Elixir: Maxes Endurance for 10 minutes. Amount: 100000 Buy? (Yes No)**

**Karma Items: To unlock you must have a good or bad karma. Items will correspond with your karma.**

**To Unlock new items, find 10 item coins and a random item shall be added.**

Naruto looked through all the buyable items and thought about what he should buy. "The Upgrade Coin Maker seems cool, I won't have to level up or go find other coins to up my stats so that is a yes. **Buy Upgrade Coin Maker X1**. I wont be buying the automatic level up. I can just level up on my own. The new player seems cool. Does the side character mean I can play as someone else, like Lee or even Neji! Well that is cool! I am going to buy that when I get enough. Maxter seems good, but I probably wont be achieving that for a while. The ninja weapons are just plain awesome because I usually get kicked out of the ninja shops. For the ramen, well you can never have enough of something! The random jutsu will be helpful in the long run. Doesn't cost that much money, not that I'm complaining. Those elixirs just rock! To bad they cost a bit. I can see why though. **Buy Ramen X100**. Okay, so let me do my math. I have, erm, 34049643 ryo left. I think. **Buy Random Jutsu X2**."

**-Alert- New jutsu, Great Clone Explosion Learned. For details press the help button on Kyuubi's ass.**

"Fuck you."

**-Alert- New Jutsu, Fuuton: Air Bullets. For details press the help button on Sasuke's dick.**

"I'm going to say it again. Fuck you!"

**-Alert- Message: I don't swing that way.**

"Smart ass." Naruto muttered.

"Okay, anyways 34049642 - 200000 is... 33849642 ryo. Wow, I spent a lot. Its going to take some time to get that money back. Now where is that save point. Ahah! There it is. Why does it have to be in my toilet though? Ugh. Now, how should I get money. Meh, Physical Henge Jutsu at graduation it is.** Save Slot 1. New Game Slot 2. Yes. Begin**." A vortex appeared and Naruto was sucked into it.

"Ow." Naruto said as he landed in the character selection room. He quickly stood up though and walked to Standard Naruto and tapped it. "Start." A vortex yet again, popped up and Naruto was yet again, pulled in.

Naruto landed in the main area and then fell into the void. He quickly turned his head to avoid the sight of the Harlem Shakers. Once he landed in the room where he was born he said, "Fast Forward Graduation Day." Everything blurred and Naruto was thrown into the body of a 12 year old him. As soon as he settled in he looked around. He was hanging in mid air with a rope holding him while he held a paintbrush. Aah, he remembered this. This was the time when he decided that the Hokage's needed a makeover.

"NARUTO!" The familiar sound of his instructor didn't scare or even faze Naruto. He thought about going down and giving up, but then a thought went to his mind. He grinned and his legs bended to touch the rock of the Hokage's monument. He channeled chakra to his feet and then untied his ropes. He then started going through some seals that went through his mind. He jumped a chakra enhanced jump and as soon as he was in the air he looked down to the ground.

"_Fuuton: Air Bullets_!" Air bullets started to come out of his now open mouth as the pressure of the bullets made him fly away. 'I can't believe it! I CAN FLY! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!' He thought as he continued to fly higher. Suddenly the jutsu ended. "OH SHIT!" Naruto yelled as he fell. Only then was he rescued by an Anbu with brown hair. Now who does that remind him of... "Oh! Hi Tenzo!" Naruto said as Tenzo tensed up.

Once they landed, Tenzo gave Naruto instructions. "You shall not speak my name, nor shall you even think about it. You are to forget my and keep it locked up in the back of my mind. Understand?" Naruto nodded and Tenzo jumped away.

Naruto shook his head as he began his trek to the academy.

A few repeats of the 'Show Henge at Graduation" got him the money that he took from the Hokage's vault and from the City Vault. The City Vault consists of every clan and civilian's bank account. Naruto smiled as he took all of the Uchiha's money.

* * *

**"Delete Save Slot 2. Load Save Slot 1. Yes. Begin." **Naruto was pulled into the void that had appeared and was thrown out of his toilet in his apartment. With the money he acquired he bought a couple more Jutsu scrolls.

"Game Shop. Buy Random Jutsu X3"

**-Alert- New Jutsu, Raiton: Chidori. For details join the Harlem Shakers.**

**-Alert- New Jutsu, Genjutsu: Demonic Trauma. For details, deflower Neji.**

**"**WHAT THE FUCK!"

**-Alert- New Jutsu, Suiton: Water Wash. For details, open the Jutsu Directive Menu by saying Jutsu Help.**

**"**THANK YOU FOR NOT BEING A SMART ASS!"

**After accessing the Jutsu Directive Menu you must proceed to get the Kyuubi to masturbate.**

"NUUUUUUUU!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Naruto: Game of the Year**

**The Detail Challenge Accepted!**

Naruto fumed at what he had to do to get the details of his jutsu's he bought. He knew the hand signs as soon as he bought them, but he didn't know how most could be applied. And did he seriously have to touch the Kyuubi's ass, Sasuke's dick, and then proceed to get the Kyuubi to masturbate? Seriously, is that a **challenge** the game gave him!

**-Alert- Would you like to do the Detail Challenge? Yes No Reward: 5 jutsu's, one Reward Point, 3 level ups, 1000000 ryo, Special Item Sakura's Gloves. Would you like details on Sakura's Gloves? ****Yes No**

"Okay, just wow. I can't believe there are actually challenges! I like the rewards too. Okay, **Sakura's Gloves Details Yes**.."

**-Sakura's Gloves Details: Sakura's Gloves give the user plus 80 for Strength and adds 40 points to Chakra Control. Level Requirement is 10. Only obtained through Detail Challenge.**

"Nice! **Detail Challenge Yes."**

**-The Detail Challenge has been accepted. Rules: Can only be done with brute force. No clever or cunning thinking allowed. You must complete at least three detail challenges that were giving to you from the bought jutsu.**

"So three... Touching Sasuke's dick is out, Kyuubi doesn't really ha-

**-Alert- Changing Kyuubi's gender to a brash female who doesn't appreciate perverts.**

"FUCK YOU! WHYYYYYYYYYY!" Naruto started to pant from his anger and his yelling. *pant.* *pant.* "Deflowering Neji is just..." Naruto shivered. "My only good choices are... Join the Harlem Shakers," Naruto almost cried at that thought, "Get the Female Kyuubi to masturbate. That will be hard. And gross. I honestly don't want to see a female fox ma-

**-Alert- Changing Kyuubi's form to human throughout challenge. Beauty Factor (11/10) Overdrive.**

"Well that's nice. Still gross though that a overdrive hot ancient demon fox that killed many people for no reason is going to masturbate. I wonder, how am I going to do this. Oh wait, I can't think, it's agains... Of course! It said not to think cleverly or cunningly but it didn't say Narutoly! Anyways, the other one to do is touch the Kyuubi's ass. I feel like I'm cheating on Hinata doing this, but at least it is better than cheating with boys. Okay! Lets do this!" Naruto finished as he sat down on his bed and meditated to enter his mind.

Naruto was once again met with the familiar sewers of his mind which for some reason is connected to his gut. Naruto then felt a pulse of anger coming down one of the paths. Before he started down it, a hole on the ceiling came off and a man peered in.

"ALIIIIICE! I'M COMING FOR YOUUUUU!" The man yelled before he jumped in and disappeared.

"Okaaaay. What was that?" Naruto asked as he slowly walked away.

The anger was getting worse and worse as Naruto got closer and closer. He heard some yells, but they were muffled do to them being far away. Once he got close he heard them**.**

**"WHAT IS THIS! WHY DO I HAVE BOOBIES, TITTIES, AND A VAGINA! WHY AM I A FUCKING HUMAN TOO! KAMI, WHYYYY**!" A suprisingly female voice screamed. Naruto turned to the left on one of the hallways and entered the room that is known as the Kyuubi's cage. It was a bare room with nothing on the walls and bars halfway in the middle. A paper tag with the kangi for 'seal' was on the middle bar and darkness was behind those bars. A human form was roaming that gigantic room.

The Kyuubi was yelling curses and such colorful comments that Naruto had to cover his ears. Did the Kyuubi decide to act like that troll he beat up on a mission? How did that troll look like again? It was a funny looking troll with pink hair! Seriously, what kind of evil monster has pink hair! He always thought that trolls had green skin too, but it seems they are almost white. What was its name? It was something like Cherry Blossom. Yeah!

Naruto walked forward to the cage and he tried not to stare at the titties. '_Time to go Narutoish_!' he thought as he bravely looked away from the plump D-cup boobs. 'Must not look. Must not look.' Naruto chanted in his head. "Hey, Kyuubi, get your hand and put it in your vagina." The Kyuubi's head swiveled to Naruto and instantly yelled.

**"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE HUMAN! TURN ME BACK THIS INSTANT!"** The Kyuubi screamed at Naruto; the sound so loud it was shattering glass outside his mind.

"Err, I didn't do it. It was Susanoo!" Naruto replied, nervously.

**"GRAAAH! NEXT TIME I SEE HIM I'LL KILL HIM!"** She yelled while looking up to the ceiling.

"Yeah... So, can you put your hand in your vagina?" Naruto asked hopefully.

**"WHY SHOULD I!" **The Kyuubi retorted.

"Cause I want you to." Naruto said in a matter of fact tone.

"**Good enough**." The Kyuubi said cheerfully as she stuck her hand in her vagina.

(A/N I told you this is rated M. No lemons yet... D:)

**-Alert- Kyuubi has masturbated even though she would've done this if you had waited for a minute before talking to her! Exp gained: 100 (100/1650) You have completed 1/3 of the Detail Challenge.**

"Okaaay. Anyways, Kyuubi turn around real quick."

**"YOU JUST WANT TO SEE MY BUT!"**

"So you're fine with me seeing your vagina?"

**"Well, I originally was a boy so it doesn't matter there, but no butty!"**

"So you were a boy. I have a question though. If you were a boy then everytime I saw you in fox form, why didn't I see your dick? Let me guess, the almight Kyuubi has a small watty packer.

"**SHUTUP**!" The Kyuubi growled.

"Anyways, if you aren't going to turn around then I shall make you!"

**"How are you going to do that pathetic mortal!"**

"I realized this a long time ago and I can't believe that none of the other Jinchuriki thought of this. This is my mind so..." Naruto pointed at the ground under Kyuubi's feet and slowly moved his finger up. Earth started to come out and it wrapped around the Kyuubi's foot. Naruto then curved it to her arms and they also encased them.

**"LET ME GO**!"

**(A/N Not a lemon, only a short sexual part. If you are 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, or 6, please stop reading even though you probably wont. And yes, I'm talking to you to Mr. Sniffles. )**

Naruto walked forward to the Kyuubi as he marveled her beauty. She had long red hair with streaks of gold in it. It reached all the way down to her butt. She had red eyes with slits that made her look exotic to Naruto. Her curves were fascinating; they curved at the exact right spot. Her vagina looked like a... vagina? Her legs were long and skinny enough for his tastes. His eyes traveled back up to her breasts which were a D-cup. Her nipples erected already from the cold air.

Once Naruto got there he went behind the Kyuubi. Before he hit the button on Kyuubi's ass he leaned his head over her shoulder so his head was right next to her ear. He slowly breathed on it which caused her to shake. He slowly snaked out his hands and started to rub her body before going up to her boobs. He pulled his head back a bit and went lower so he could start giving her hickeys. His hands started to touch her boobs and they suddenly squeezed them eliciting a moan from Kyuubi. He kept squeezing them until he felt tired and he started to circle her titties.

Kyuubi's face was getting red from excitement and embarrassment. He slowly pinched her titties as she froze up from the pleasure. He took his left hand off and gave her butt cheek a squeeze which she yelped at. After a few 20 more seconds Naruto stopped and pressed the red button on her ass.

(Short sexual part over!)

**"That felt, pleasurable. I don't mind doing that again as long as you don't trap me."** The Kyuubi told him as soon as she regained her breath.

"Even though your beautiful, I like Hinata, sooo."

**"THEN WHAT WAS THAT FOR!"** The Kyuubi yelled.

"For fun?"

**"I SHALL KILL YOU!"**

**-Alert- You have touched the button on Kyuubi's butt. Exp gained: 150 (250/1650) You have completed 2/3 of the Detail Challenge.**

**-Congratulations. New achievement: Hickey Fox. Requirements: Give the Kyuubi hickeys. Bonus: Attract Stat. Stat Upgrade: Intelligence (base: 63) + 42**

**-Congratulations. New achievement: Tittie Fox. Requirements: Get the Kyuubi to have an organasm from you groping her titties. Stat Upgrade: Attract (base: 30) + 10**

Naruto raised an eyebrow at that. Kyuubi had an organasm? Well... That's interesting.

Kyuubi rushed at Naruto with a full intent on killing him. Naruto saw a giant haze of red chakra appeared around the Kyuubi and then it shifted to her left harm. She raised her hands when she was in striking distance and brung it down. One millimeter away from Naruto's face, he disappeared, back in the real world. The Kyuubi could only scream and curse.

Once Naruto was in the real world he immediately stood up and did the Harlem shake. Pretty easy if you ask me.

**-Alert- You have become a Harlemer. Exp gained: 400 (550/1650) You have completed the Detail challenge.**

**-Congratulations. New achievement: The Challenger. Requirements: Finish a challenge. Stats Upgrade: Intelligence (base: 105) + 20**

**-Detail Challenge Complete. Reward Transfer: 5 jutsu's, One Reward Point, 3 level ups, 1000000 ryo, Special Item Sakura's Gloves. Progress: 5%**

Naruto waited patiently for the bar of progress that had appeared in front of him to finish.

**-Alert- Level up + 3**

Naruto smiled at that.

**-Alert- +30 Stat Points**

**-Alert- + 1 Skill Point**

**-Alert- +1000000 ryo.**

Naruto's smile turned devious as he imagined all the material for pranks he can buy with that money. Or maybe... buy explosive tags. That second, everybody in the galaxy, even a pink haired boy that was eating fire in a world far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far away felt a huge intent of fear cross them.

-**Alert- Special Item Sakura's Gloves obtained.**

**-Alert- Plus One Reward Point**

**-Alert- +5 Jutsus**

**-Alert- New Jutsu, Doton: Magnetic Crush. For Details please say "Jutsu Directive Menu".**

**-Alert- New jutsu, Sution: Water Emperor. For Details please say "Jutsu Directive Menu".**

**-Alert- New Jutsu, Doton: Pit Fall. For Details please say "Jutsu Directive Menu".**

**-Alert- New Jutsu, Non-elemental: Chakra Senbon. For Details please say "Jutsu Directive Menu".**

**-Alert- New Jutsu, Raiton: Four-Point Electrical Charge. For Details please say "Jutsu Directive Menu".**

"Nice, I didn't know you could make senbon out of chakra. I will check those out later. **Naruto Uzumaki Stats**. Hmm, I wonder. The Hinata right now is omega shy, and her level of shyness around me is much more. If I do the Attract stat, then will she just go fuck the rule of no rape and grab me and take me right there? Meh, I wouldn't mind that. **All into Attract**. Okay **Skill Point tug-a-war**. Now 30% of the Kyuubi's chakra is mine! She wont be to happy about that though. Anyways, **Naruto Uzumaki Reward.**

**-Alert- Reward: The Perverts Mask. For Details please say "Special Item Directive Menu".**

**"Special Item Directive Menu".**

**-Welcome to the Special Item Directive Menu. Here you can see all of the Special Items that you have collected. To look at its details just say its name.**

**"The Perverts Mask."**

**-The Perverts Mask: +10 intelligence. +60 strength. +50 speed. This mask is owned by Kakashi Hatake which for some reason will disappear from his face when it is being used by you. Warning: Do not attempt this unless you wont to torture your sensei by the curse Kami gave this world. Fangirls.**

Naruto immediately filed that away for some of his more... enlightning pranks.

**"Jutsu Directive Menu."**

**-Welcome to the Jutsu Directive Menu. Here you can see all of the Jutsus you have bought or learned. To look at the details of jutsus just say its name.**

**"Raiton: Four-Point Eletrical Charge."**

**-Raiton: Four-Point Eletrical Charge. This jutsu is not very explanatory in its name. The user of this jutsu does the hand seals which should be ingrained into your memory when you got it. The user holds out his hand towards the enemy, clenched, and then flicks all of his fingers except for his thumb. Gather Raiton chakra when you flick your finger and send it off as a small piece of electricity. This jutsu takes perfect timing. The four electrical charges will either go into the enemy or miss. If if it misses then before it goes past the enemy clench your hand again and they shall come to the closest thing with electricity. The nerves in the enemy. This Jutsu may seem weak, but the control needed to make the small size and the huge amount of chakra makes it a high S-rank Jutsu. Once the Jutsu hits the enemy, it will connect with the electrical signals from the nerves. Using this set of transportation it will make its way to the brain where it will fry it.**

Naruto looked real excited at that jutsu. Seriously, who wouldn't like to just have to use chakra and lots of control to just send small flickers of electricity that has the potential to make the enemy brain dead.

**"Non-elemental: Chakra Senbon."**

**-Non-elemental: Chakra Senbon. This jutsu is just chakra manipulation at its lowest. No set of hand seals are required and a D-rank amount of chakra is required. The control needed is on par with henge. Even though this needs low control and chakra it is ranked low B-rank because the chakra can go through the enemy instead of just barely penetrating the skin.**

"Well, that is awesome. I wonder why they dont teach it in the Academy. Even if it is low B ranked it is still helpful. People are so stupid sometimes. **Doton: Pit Fall.**

**-Doton: Pit Fall: This Jutsu shifts the earth under the opponent and creates a hole. Its size depends on the amount of chakra. Barely any control is needed. This Jutsu is a C-ranked Jutsu.**

"Wow, if this jutsu is out there, then people are definitely stupid to not teach it to the Academy students. If I had this technique when I was on the Wave Mission then all I would've needed to have done was make those rogue chunin fall into a hole. **Doton: Magnetic Crush."**

**-Doton: Magnetic Crush. This jutsu can only be used if the user has anything magnetic on him such as iron. This jutsu needs near perfect control and low amount of chakra. Put your chakra in two iron pieces such as kunai and then throw then on opposite sides of the enemy. Quickly go through the hand signs as soon as they are right next to him. They will come together and unless the enemy has chakra reinforced armor, or is anything on a giant scale, it will be cut in half until the two iron pieces touch. This is a high S-ranked jutsu**

"AWESOME! I'm sure no one would expect that if two kunais miss that they'll come together and still kill them. **Sution: Water Emperor.**

**-Suiton: Water Emperor. This jutsu needs perfect control, élite jounin level chakra, high refinery of chakra manipulation, and at least 5 years of training water manipulation. This jutsu infuses your chakra with the water and creates a certain amount of water creatures that depends on how much chakra was used. The creatures shape depend on your chakra manipulation. This is a low S-rank jutsu.**

"Soo, I can create creatures out of the water depending on much chakra I use? I'll be a tough nut to crack. NOT THE PEANUT! THE PEANUT MUST DIE! (A/N I told you there was going to be peanut bashing.)

* * *

**Author's Notes**

**Yo guys, just showing Naruto becoming even more overpowered. :P. Anyways, I was looking at some stuff when I saw the beta-readers. I know they read stories and do some improvements to help the people or something, but I don't know if that is what they really do. Someone help me! And if they really do, do that then I want one. Now. I hate trying to correct all my mistakes. I hate it even more when there is not even a mistake and it is correct yet I didn't know it was correct because it had a red line under it. It pisses me off. Bad.**

**If you have any suggestions for the next chapter, please tell me. By the way, this will not be a day by day story. What I mean by that is that it wont be Naruto going from one day to the next. No, it will be Naruto being a little maggot one year-old baby to a twenty year old Naruto. It will skip around, showing new stuff randomly. That is the kind of suggestions I want. Also, no angst ideas! This story is meant to be humorous and nice to read, not a moody and sappy like that story where Naruto ate a peanut and died. Sooner or later there will be angst, but that will be because Ichiraku Ramen will become Ichiraku Peanuts. Yes, you heard me. Those damn peanuts.**

**I also want to talk about another thing. The henge technique. That technique is underrated. Badly. I got the outwards henge from Chunin Exam Days by LionHeart. The henge itself makes you transform into another person. It is an illusion though. The thing I don't understand is why dont they just make an henge of them having a huge metal arm and they are swinging it at your for a distraction. It wont hit you because its an illusion, but the enemy will try to block it, thinking its real. And no, I know you guys are going to say its a genjutsu. Let me clear this up. A genjutsu is a jutsu that messes with the mind. It makes an illusion that only you can see. A henge is everything that everybody can see. That's the difference. Anyways, seeya! TELL ME ABOUT THE BETA READERS!**

**This story has been presented to you by: Imaweasle.**

**Yes the le in weasel was intentional.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Naruto: Game of the Year**

**The Story of the Switch**

Naruto Uzumaki, jinchuriki of the Kyuubi, a power of human sacrifice. He is one of the many who have had a demon sealed into their gut. All the containers have usually led a certain life. The life of betrayal. The life of hatred. The life of bloodlust. The life of eating cat food. The life of being a mindless drone. The life of.. do I dare say it? Yes, I do. The life of eating peanuts. The life of ignorance. Finally, there is one more left. It rises above all the others. It contains malice that to be undone you need to defeat a traitor chunin, a bijuu, become the student of a Sanin, and then finally defeat a enemy who is far past the rank of S. Then, they'll love you. This is the life of Naruto Uzumaki. The life of all the other demon containers lives, minus the cat food. This is the perfect hell. Our hero, Naruto Uzumaki, was always almost at the breaking point, meaning he already withstood what would mentally cripple 50000000000 Hokages. Now, Naruto has died and has been reborn into a game. When he was young, he has always been hated. He was never given breakfast, lunch, or dinner at the orphanage. He always had to scavenge for himself. He was kicked out of the orphanage at three years old, and he has lived on the streets for four years before the Hokage found him. During those years and continuing past it, Naruto was been robbed, chased out of stores, ignored, almost was persuaded to eat cat food, almost went crazy, and was beaten to the point that even all the Five Hokages would cry. Now, Naruto Uzumaki will not take that shit. No, why should he take it when all he has to do is make 40 shadow clones and make them go into a huge circle while creating a mountain rasengan in the middle. Yes, now that will terrify the hell out of the villagers. This is the story about why you should never jack with Naruto. This is the story of how everything switched around. Yes, this is the story of the 'Switch'.

* * *

Naruto was just walking down the street in the market area. The street was packed with people and stands, ranging from food vendors, to a dancing banana. Naruto never understood how that is possible though. Twelve year old Naruto was looking for one thing. He didn't even look once at the father and son laughing. He didn't even care about the glares that were sent at him. He didn't care about the kunai coming from the occasional ninja. He most certainly didn't care about the mob of civilians with pitch forks and torches. Seriously, can't the civilians make up their own original method of torturing someone?

"DEMON BRAT! IT IS TIME TO DIE!" A man dressed in pink yelled. He charged ahead of the group and got his torch ready to hit Naruto. He raised it above his head and brung it down, but a hand stopped it. The hand was bloody and had skin peeling off. Now you ask, who is this? Due to Naruto having the king/queen of all demons, every demon in the world and even other dimensions felt the need to protect Naruto from harm. When Naruto was younger he never knew who these demons were. All he knew was that they kept him safe.

The villager started to yell at the intrusion. "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU! LET GO OF MY TORCH SO I CAN KILL THE BRAT!" He screamed... at the face of Freddy. Yes, that _** Freddy ****K****rueger. **_The man stopped his screaming and pissed his pants. He started to tremble from fear. Then Freddy grinned. "MOOOOOMMMMMAAAAAA!" The man yelled as he let go of his torch and ran back to the also terrified mob.

"Hey Freddy, thanks but I got it from here. Tell Jason I said hi!" Naruto said cheerfully. Freddy hissed. This kid knew he hated Jason yet he always talked about him. If he didn't harbor the Kyuubi, Freddy would've already sunken his claws into his flesh. "HEY VILLAGERS! WANT SOME OF THIS SHIT!" Naruto yelled as Freddy slowly disappeared. Once Freddy was gone the villagers nodded at what Naruto said. "THEN COME AT GET IT BITCHES! OUTWARDS PHYSICAL HENGE: NAKED JUSTIN BEIBER!" Horrified cries for mercy came to Naruto as Justin started to sing his songs.

"PLEASE STOP THIS!" Came the cry of Mebuki Haruno. Naruto laughed at her pain. He kept laughing until a change happened.

"WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME!" Naruto screamed as his body grew taller. His hair color changed and so did his voice. In fact, everything but what the human should have change. He was no, Rick... "We're no strangers to love, you know the rules and so do I!"

"NOOOO!" came the chorus of screams from the mob. Meanwhile, the real Naruto (The Rick one is a shadow clone) was laughing at the villagers eternal demise on top of the roof of a random building. He jumped down from it and moved towards the crowd.

Slowly, Naruto crept forward behind the pretty librarian. The librarian worked almost all day, and most of her free time was used by torturing Naruto. She had a slender body, ample c-cups, and of course the sweet heart face with brown bangs, and complete with the glasses. Once Naruto was positioned right behind her his hands went into a tiger seal. His face turned into a grin that had the promise of humiliation. He leaned right beside her ear and whispered the technique. "Konohagakure Hiden Secret Taijutsu Technique: One Thousand Years of Death." He channeled chakra into his fingers and shoved it up her ass. And knowing Naruto, he won't just settle for a small amount of chakra. He used an Anbu level amount of chakra. Halfway across the world she crashed into a building. And of course that building had to belong to the Raikage. Especially when he was jacking off.

* * *

Naruto looked at the inside of his fridge. It was empty, with the only thing being there was a bag of moldy pancakes. Naruto threw that away and frowned. He had lots of money to spend, but he wanted to save it up. Naruto was sorely tempted to open his inventory and take out the ramen he bought from the **Game Shop**. Naruto knew that sooner or later he would run out of the ramen, and it was much more helpful than normal ramen because it helped regain his chakra, so he decided to just go by groceries.

Naruto closed his fridge and exited the kitchen as he put on his sandals and set off to get some food.

"We're off to see the market. The wonderful market of food!" Naruto sung as he walked away from the Red-Light District that he lived in. Strangely enough, a lion, a scarecrow, and a tin man started to follow him. And was that a munchkin hanging himself in the background? ( A/N It's a sad story, but in the Wizard of Oz, in the background there was a munchkin hanging himself. For real. Not part of the movie in anyway.)

After the small journey, Naruto entered the food market only to have a fire ball shot at him, 50 kunai being thrown at him from all directions, and a Genjutsu trying to invade his mind. 'Isn't this a little to overboard?' Naruto thought as he easily dodged all the projectiles and genjutsu. He looked at the people who attacked him and they looked pissed. Naruto grinned at them as he started to do some hand signs. They looked a little scared at what the 'demon' would do. "Doton: Pit Fall Jutsu." The ground under them gave away and they fell. Naruto quickly did a little earth manipulation and covered the top with dirt with holes in them. It would hold if someone stepped on it and the people in the hole wouldn't suffocate. It's perfect! Naruto passed up their little hidey holes and looked at the stalls. He went to a vendor which was selling fruits. As soon as he got there the owner sneered at him.

"You aren't welcome here, demon." He said, the sneer still present. Naruto simply stared at him. And stared. And stared. And stared. Now the vendor was getting creeped out. "Err, go away. I don't want you ruining my business, brat." No answer. Only a stare. And another stare. And another stare. "I'll give you three of everything for free if you just stop staring!" The vendor said, nervousness in his voice. Naruto smiled as he picked three of each fruit.

'Now that is how you get food.' Naruto thought with a smile as he did his strategy to others.

* * *

Naruto never had a real need to go to a ninja supply store ever since he discovered the **Game Shop**. After a few months with it Naruto realized that the items he got were mid-grade. He also couldn't get any customized items so he just shrugged and left his house. Currently, Naruto was standing in front of the store called "Shiny Sparkly Lovely Weapons". Naruto wondered who the hell named their store that. He opened the door and realized why. Tenten was the owner.

She looked at Naruto and instantly smiled. "Welcome to the "Shiny Sparkly Lovely Weapons" shop! Here you can find some of those.. delicate.. sharp.. shiny.. deadly... Sorry, I got off track. Here you can find my babi- weapons! Oh, by the way, do I know you?" she asked at the end.

"Yeah, I failed the graduation test. Before that, I was in your class." Tenten nodded at that and she swept her arms , signaling him to look around. Naruto did was she signaled and looked for what he wanted. He quickly found some shruiken and kunai and gawked at the prices.

'400 ryo for one stainless steel, chakra enchanced kunai. 350 ryo for one stainless, chakra enhanced shruiken. Wow, that cost a lot. I'll only buy a couple of these.' As he picked them up he caught something shiny to his right. He walked towards the shelf it was on and looked at it.

It was a metal glove with lots of seals on it. Instead of just a regular fitting for the fingers, sharp steel claws that were curved stood. Naruto looked at the claws closely and saw a string under the claw. He figured it must be able to shoot off and grapple something. He looked around for a trigger, but he couldn't find one so he looked at the seals to see if one of them triggered the mechanism. After looking through some amateur Reverse Gravity seals, which made gravity have less of an impact on them, a beginner's Metal Enhancer seal, and a storage seal for summoning a kunai to the hand quickly, Naruto found the trigger seal. It was inscribed on each claw, in such a small print, Naruto needed glasses just to see them a little bit more clearly.

Instead of getting glasses, Naruto used a jutsu he learned in his original life to zoom in on stuff and he looked at the seal. It was an easy to make seal, but the way it was being used was ingenius. When you channeled chakra to the seal it would take the chakra and store it in the 'gather' part of the seal, which would then have half taken out of it which would be taken to the transfer part of the seal. The transfer part would break down the chakra into little pieces which would then safely go into the string, which he now realized was ninja wire, and the claws would shoot off.

He magnified on the string to see if there were any seals on them. He saw only two and looked at them. One looked like a one way dual seal, meaning it must have a counterpart. The counter part line on the seal looked a bit like the trigger seal so Naruto realized it reacted when you used chakra to use the trigger. One part of the seal took the chakra that was left stored in the gather part of the trigger seal and would take it into the wire seal which would send it into the 'lengthening dimensions' drawings on the seal.

A lengthening dimension defies the law of dimensions by making something look longer than it really is, even though it is not, but it looks long, and if you get a measuring stick it would still be longer. It is a confusing concept. When the lengthening part got the chakra, the wire would lengthen until sooner or later it would be long enough to shoot to the other end of Konoha. That will only happen though, if someone figured out how to be able to mess with the dimensions without a max. Every dimension messing seal always has a max to what it could go to.

Naruto looked at the second seal on the wire. It was a chakra enhancing seal, and each time chakra went through the wire, it gets stronger in resisting chakra, meaning that if someone tried to cut the wire, via jutsu's or chakra enhanced attacks, it would do nothing at one point, which would likely take more than 1000 years.

"Oh, that weapon used to be called the Kitsune's Paw, but ever since the Kyuubi attack, people hated foxes so my father who created it changed it to the Wolf's Paw." Tenten's voice said out of nowhere, making Naruto jump a little bit. Naruto berated himself for not being aware of his surroundings. "It's a very strong weapon and it costs 300500 ryo. Do you have enough to buy it?" Tenten asked. Naruto nodded. he really wanted this weapon. It was very strong looking in Naruto's eyes and if he could add a Store and Release seal which would store chakra and release it when a trigger is used it would be even stronger.

Instead of using the chakra to power the wire in the middle of battle the Store and Release would allow you to store chakra before the battle and release it when needed, therefore no chakra in battle is wasted. If he could also add an Instinctual seal on it, then the trigger would react on instinct, so he doesn't need to think about the movements he has to do.

"I'll take it." Naruto told Tenten. Tenten nodded and took the glove to the counter.

**Buy (Yes No) **The words popped up randomly as time stood to a stop. "Yes." Naruto replied to the words. They fizzled away as the world started to move again.

**-You have collected 1/7 of the Kitsune's Body. Exp Gained: 1049 (1949/1950) Stats Upgrade: Plus 50 each. Bonus: New Skill: Grapple. For information please go to _Naruto Uzumaki Stats _and look under the skills section.**

'FUUUUUU' Naruto raged in his mind at the Exp."Come again!" Tenten said cheerfully as Naruto left the shop.

Once he was outside he was immediately confronted by three jounins.

"Hey, look it's the damn demon." The one with green hair and a beard said.

"We better kill it." The pale looking black haired guy said.

"Yeah, who knows what it would do to our village if we don't stop it. We'll be heroes!" The last of them said. This one definitely looked like the leader. He was all buff, probably none for speed, but then again, who knows! Veins showed in his muscles and his brown hair was tied in a pony tail. Speaking of pony tails.

"Oi, mister, my friend's horse wants her hair back."

"KILL IT!" They all yelled as they charged him. Naruto beat them up pretty easily. All it took was a few well aimed punches and they were out. They should be ashamed to call themselves jounin of the Hidden Leaf. Sadly, because Naruto beat the three hooligans, all the other ninjas and civilians who knew of the Kyuubi started to throw stuff at them. Naruto was able to stand it, but frankly, getting hit by a rubber duck that reminded him of a certain emo did not do good for his mood. The peanut was a clear insult to him also.

Naruto charged one-thousandths of his chakra - which is enough to match the Hokage- and yelled out his jutsu. "DOTON: PITFALL JUTSU!" The whole village went under except for the ground and Tenten's shop. And don't forget Ichiraku Ramen! Once all the people were down there and were screaming Naruto charged another one-thousandths of his chakra and yelled out a Suiton Jutsu. SUTION: WATER WASH!" Naruto used his chakra to draw water out of the air and rubbed it raw on people's backs. There were many begs of mercy but Naruto paid no heed. As he laughed at the civilians and ninja's misery, Tenten came out and saw what he did. Now she was badgering him to teach her the jutsu. She said, that it would help a lot if she could get even a inch downward on the ground underneath the enemy because they will most likely trip, making them immobile for a while- just enough time for her to hit them with a kunai or shruiken. After some begging and the puppy eye jutsu, Naruto gave in and taught her it. She got it down pretty quickly, but that is explainable considering almost no control is needed, and to make a good size hole, you just need the amount of chakra it takes to substitute with a log.

Tenten brought Naruto back into her store for some refreshments, but before they could, an ANBU appeared in front of Naruto. "Naruto Uzumaki, the Hokage wants to see you. Also, he asked to tell you that you will pay for the medical treatment that has been done to his back. He hates his water raw. Good day." The ANBU finished before he jumped down into the abyss under them. Naruto shrugged and jumped down a long with him.

Just before Naruto hit the ground he did his nifty trick with the air bullets and floated long enough to stop the effects of gravity from splattering him across the floor. After he passed a few lifeless eyes (They're not dead) he found the Hokage's tower. He passed the hidden ANBU and waved to them just to see their reactions. Once inside he ignored all of the secretary's calls as he travelled up the stairs which led him into the Hokage's room. Before he went into the room though, he summoned a clone to go use the Advanced Learning system to learn the Forbidden scroll.

Naruto entered the Hokage's office only to see a very irritated old man with a raw body. "Naruto, what did you do!" Hiruzen barked at Naruto.

Naruto rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Well, the civilians and ninjas pelt stuff at me and it kept happening so I got pissed and used a jutsu I learned. It is a C-ranked one."

"Oh, I see. AND WHAT KIND OF C-RANK JUTSU DOES THIS!"

"The type of Jutsu I like to learn."

"Damn boy, your going to kill me one of these days."

"Hey, look at the bright side, at least I'll get the hat!"

"Sometimes, I really hate you."

"The feelings mutual."

"Now tell me what this jutsu is. If it is a C-rank then it is clearly underated."

"It is Doton: Pit Fall Jutsu." Naruto said as he watched the Hokage go through some files. "Why are you going through files, "Jiji?"

"Well Naruto, if it is a C-ranked jutsu then all the Hokages should have access to it because it clearly isn't a kinjutsu. Though, it might have been made by a wandering ninja. I'll see if that is the case." Hiruzen replied. After a few minutes, the Hokage looked at Naruto, with a face the clearly defined 'I give up'. "I can't find it anywhere. Did a ninja teach this to you Naruto?" The Third asked.

"No." Naruto said as he thought about something. 'I can't take credit and say I made it because it probably is someone's own jutsu.' he thought.

**-Alert- Doton: Pit Fall jutsu is one of the many jutsu's made by the game. No one has made them so credit goes to the player.**

'Well isnt' that nice.' Naruto thought.

"So, how do you know how to do it, Naruto?" The Third pressed.

"Fine, I give up, I made it."

"So, what you are telling me is that you made a C-ranked jutsu that if you enough chakra is used, you can bring a village under?"

"Yup!"

"Have you taught this to anyone else?"

"Tenten, that weapon freak. I wouldn't worry about even half of the village going under because of her. She has and average amount of chakra for a mid-genin."

"Thank God."

"By the way Jiji, I got a present for you!" Naruto exclaimed.

"What is it?" Hiruzen asked Naruto, hoping it wasn't what he thought it was.

"SUITON: WATER WASH OMEGA RAW!"

"DAMNIT NARUTO! OOOOW THAT HURTS!"

* * *

The next day, Naruto fixed everything by reversing the Jutsu. Though, that isn't the main point right now. He was called in by the Council to be punished for bringing the village down. Literally. As soon as Naruto entered the Hokage's building he smelt duck. Naruto sighed. He walked up to the secretary and gave her a slip that gave him permission to enter the council room. The secretary sneered at him as she led him to the room. She reached for the handles, but Naruto beat her to them. The slammed the doors open and walked in. "OKAY! Lets get this over with! Hurry and punish me, and no, I will not teach Uchiha Sasuke my jutsu. And yes, I know that you were going to say that because I smell duck butt in the air!" Naruto proclaimed loudly.

Sasuke, who was in the back of the room, was not amused. He ran at Naruto only to fall down a hole made by Naruto's jutsu.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU DE-BRAT!" The Hokage's glare made the civilian who yelled not finish the word he was about to say.

"Naruto, please get Sasuke back up here." The Third told Naruto. Naruto nodded and reversed the jutsu, though he did it a little to hard - on purpose- and Sasuke had his head rammed and lodged into the ceiling.

"He's up here!" Naruto said in a matter-of-fact tone. Everyone sweat dropped.

"Well, I cant fight that logic so let's just get this meeting on," Hiruzen started, "We are here to give punishment to Naruto Uzumaki for quite literally bringing us down, which caused us to lose some safter measures. We are also here to talk about the jutsu Naruto has created and why he should give it to Sasuke Uchiha."

"YEAH BOY, GIVE THE JUTSU TO SASUKE-SAN!" One of the arrogant females on the civilian council said.

"Hold your horses, I need a council on this." Naruto retorted as he made four shadow clones much to the shock of all the ninja's in the room and the squirming of Sasuke, who's head was still stuck in the roof.

"Okay, mes, what should we do?" The real Naruto asked.

"How about we say no?" Clone number 1 said.

"No, lets pit fall them again and then hang Sasuke's underwear on top of the First' Hokage's face on the monument." Clone number 2 said.

"How about this! Lets just bloody water wash them!" Clone number 3 said.

"My idea is way better. Let's do Sution: Water Wash Omega Raw on everybody but our... precious."

All the other clones nodded in agreement, but the real Naruto had an evil smile on his face.

"How about we mix both the jutsus up. They fall down a hole with no way out, and instead of water rubbing them raw, its dirt and rock!" The original said.

"YOSH!" All of the Naruto's yelled. The clones popped and Naruto turned back to the council with a serious face. "I come with bad news and good news. Which would you like first?"

"Err, the good news?" A chubby man from the civilian side said.

"The good news is that you aren't going to die. The bad news is that the SC Council has come to a certain decision."

'SC Council?" Shikaku asked.

"It stands for Shadow Clone Council." Naruto replied. Shikaku nodded at that and motioned Naruto to continue with the bad news. "The SC Council's decision is to combine my pit fall jutsu and water wash together, so you fall into a hole and get rubbed raw by rocks." Naruto's now neutral face turned evil with malice. He stuck out his hands and did handseals. "Doton: Pit Fall Wash!" Naruto yelled. Everyone fell down into their respective holes except for the ninjas who had the foresight of that happening and stuck to the table with chakra just in case. Naruto whistled as he heard the yells of Hyuuga Hiashi, one of the ninjas who didn't stick themselves to the table for they believed themselves to precious to have someone prank them. Sasuke's screams of pain from the roof as stone just rubbed him, because he couldn't fall into a hole.

"Naruto, you truly are evil. If you keep this up you might turn up a traitor." Shikaku said, sarcasm in his voice.

"Nah, to bloody troublesome to become one." Naruto replied.

Shikaku looked at the Hokage for a moment before saying, "Are you sure he is not my long lost son or something, Hokage-sama?"

Naruto blinked as he heard that. Then grinned. "Anyways, good bye people, I have to watch some clouds today."

"Hokage-sama, I would like to take my long lost son back into the Nara compound where he should rightfully belong." Shikaku said in a joking tone as he watched Naruto leave.

When Naruto opened the door, he took out a shot with nothing in it and drew some blood from his body. He threw it at the Sandaime and told him to use the Blood Analyze Jutsu on it to see his family blood. The Hokage did the jutsu and groaned as he looked at the results. Naruto was 10% Nara. Troublesome indeed.

* * *

"Okay class, today we are going to review the clone jutsu. I will call you in alphabetical order." Iruka said to the class. Naruto's last name, Uzumaki, was at the very back right behind Ino so he had to wait for the others to finish.

"Clone Jutsu!" Choji said as he went through the handseals. A replica of him appeared to his side with a potato chip bag.

"Good job, Choji. Next..." After a few minutes of watching people fail miserably or make decent clones, it was no Uchiha Sasuke's turn.

"GO SASUKE-KUN!"

"CHOW! BEAT EVERYONE!"

"I WANNA KISS YOU!"

These species are the fangirls. They are the little fuckers in your nightmares. If you ever wanted to become omegaly popular, give up now, less this curse befall on you.

"Hn. Clone Jutsu." Sasuke muttered as he flipped through the handseals with apparent ease. Five clones appeared next to him and all the fangirls went crazy.

"Naruto Uzumaki! Its your turn." Iruka said as he looked towards the blonde prankster. Naruto nodded as he went up to the front of the classroom.

"BAKA, YOU CANT DO ANYTHING NARUTO! YOU'RE THE DEADLAST!" Sakura yelled for no apparent reason. Naruto shrugged at that as he did the jutsu. Of course it had its own little twist.

"Clothe Clone Jutsu!" The clothes on Iruka ripped off of him much to his surprise and they went poof. Yes, poof. Poofety poof poof. Enough said.

The clothes then reappeared on a shadow clone, leaving Iruka naked. Iruka ran around trying to find a place to hide himself all the while yelling at Naruto for making a stupid jutsu in which Naruto retorted by saying, "If we were in battle, and I took your clothes, that means that all your secret weapons you had disappeared and appeared on my clones. You have no weapons left so you can only rely on ninjutsu and taijutsu, but if it is cold outside then it will also affect you, because you'll have nothing to protect you from the oncoming winds, which will make your taijutsu worse. Don't diss the jutsus I make. They all have a hidden purpose underneath the stupidity." Iruka was confusesd at how smart Naruto became in that one minute, but he waved it off and passed Naruto with some extra credit for making a Jutsu that disarms your enemies. He will have to ask Naruto how he made the clothes disappear though.

"Next, Ino Yama-"

"SENSEI! PUT ON SOME CLOTHES ALREADY!" The whole class yelled at the now embarrassed Iruka.

* * *

"Naruto, lower your right hand a bit." Mizuki told Naruto as he laughed in his mind because his plan went perfectly. Teach the 'demon' a jeopardized version of the Academy Style, and hope that he would die in a taijutsu fight. He smiled at that thought, and then he noticed Naruto staring at his smile. He hoped that the boy thought it was a smile of happiness.

"Neh, Mizuki-sensei, why do I need to learn taijutsu when I could just crush them with a jutsu?" Naruto asked, as a sickly smile crept up his face.

"If you run out of chakra, then you will have to rely on it. Plus, your not a chakra monster Naruto." Mizuki lied at the last part.

"Eeeh, but Mizuki-sensei, didn't I pull the whole village underground with enough chakra to rival Jiji?" Oh right, Mizuki forgot about that. He remembered that clearly. He was just plotting ways to kill the 'demon' and become the hero of the village. And then he fell down into a giant pit fall. Mizuki shivered as he felt the phantom pain of the water that rubbed him.

"Mizuki-sensei, I have a question. I have my own style, so do I have to use the Academy Style?" Mizuki felt dread coming up as his perfect plan for ruining Naruto's taijutsu go down the drain. Wait, the boy is the deadlast. He can't make his own taijutsu without it having flaws. But who knows, maybe Naruto is a taijutsu prodigy. Mizuki went pale at the thought of Naruto with his endless stream of stamina as a taijutsu prodigy. He already had to deal with that Lee boy, no way in hell was he going to let Naruto use his own style.

"Sorry Naruto, but it is required to use the Academy Style." Mizuki lied right through his teeth.

"What about Sasuke, Kiba, and Hinata? Their using a different style."

"That's required for their clans Naruto. Meanwhile, you don't have a clan so you are required to learn the Academy Style."

"Seriously, you haven't heard of the Uzumaki clan? The clan where fuinjutsu prodigies hail? The clan that could easily bring down Konoha, if it hadn't been destroyed in the second ninja war? Didn't you have an Uzumaki in your class? My mother, Uzumaki Kushina? If my mom's strength levels were to be put into my clan's ranks, she would be a genin. Yes, that's right, an elite jounin here is a low-genin over there. Basically, if the Uzumaki survived the attack from Kumo, Kiri, and Iwa, then they would have just needed to send a half of their force of jounins to destroy us. Jounins that are ranging from low to high kage rank."

Mizuki took a step back as fear entered his body. This kid was from a clan? And what made it worse was that he was the son of the Red Hot-Blooded Habanero. Mizuki wanted to cry at the thought of dying. It would mean he would have to meet 'her' again. From that day on forward, Mizuki took an oath to protect the kid and teach him everything he knew so he wouldn't be killed in an omega violent fashion right after he was killed. That would suck, dying and then dying again because of a high tempered lady.

Naruto smiled as Mizuki started to teach him the correct Academy Style and some jutsus.

* * *

Naruto entered the park where most of the kids from the Academy were playing. He saw Kiba and Akamaru trying to convince a civilian girl and a dog to go out with them. He saw Choji and Shikamaru watching the clouds. He saw Sasuke brooding emo-style in the back. And finally he saw Hinata sitting on a bench, looking at all the other kids with envy because she was to shy to ask if she could play with them.

Naruto saw the look in her eyes and walked up to her. "Hey Hinata wanna play?" Hinata swung her head in Naruto's direction before she let out a small 'eep' at the sight of her crush.

'S-s-su-sur-"

"DEMON BRAT, GET AWAY FROM THE HINATA-SAMA!" Ko, Hinata's body guard yelled as he rushed at Naruto, ready to Juken strike him. He brang his hand down, ready to knock Naruto out as Hinata screamed for Naruto to get out of the way.

Naruto paid no heed to her warnings an stretched his arms into the air, therefore hitting Ko with an uppercut, knocking him out. "You were saying Hinata?" Naruto said with a grin. Hinata just fainted.

* * *

Naruto walked through the village in his solid henge. All the villagers and ninjas were looking at him, scared for someone who had died came back to life. They were looking at the body of Minato Namikaze. After a minute of stunned silence, a civilian managed to stutter out, "F-four-fourth Yo-yondaime-sa-sama. Di-did yo-you c-co-c-come b-back-t-to- l-li-life t-o, "The villager quickly gathered his courage, "Kill the demon?" Those words sent all the ninjas and villagers into yells of victory. Naruto just stood there before the grin he was wearing turned into a frown.

"Why would I kill him?" Naruto asked.

"BECAUSE HE IS THE KYUUBI! WHY ELSE! We have tried to kill the demon, but the Third has always stopped us. He is a Kyuubi lover!" A chunin said in an excited voice.

''You seriously think I would seal the Kyuubi, but still let it roam free? Hell no, I sealed it along with a FRICKING god to ensure it never escapes. If you think Naruto is the Kyuubi, then you have no faith in my sealing skills."

"B-but Yondaime, he has to be the Kyuubi!" A villager said.

"NO! He is not the god damn Kyuubi. Judging from how excited you were at the thought of Naruto dying, it seems that you gave Naruto Hell. I am disappointed in you all. I wish that I never saved this god damn village. If I knew this would've happened, then I would've hightailed It out of here as soon as my wife gave birth." Naruto stated, still under the guise as Minato.

"Wife? You have a wife!" The villagers and ninjas confusion grew a lot.

"Yes, I have a wife! Uzumaki Kushina, mother of Naruto Uzumaki! You treated my own son like dirt!" Minato yelled with a sharp glare. Then he whipped his head to a stand. The stand said 'Ichiraku Peanuts.' "AND YOU, ICHIRAKU PEANUTS! HOW DARE YOU STOP MAKING RAMEN!" Minato yelled as anime tears came out of his eyes.

Teuchi who came out to see what the racket was looked surprised. "Didn't you hate ramen Hokage-sama?" He said.

"My wife loved it though! And so does my son, but you just had to change it. You changed it into what Kushina, me, and Naruto hate. PEANUTS!" Minato screamed the last part. "CHANGE IT BACK!" Teuchi nodded in fear and ran back to his stand to tell Ayame of the news.

"Now, I have finished my rant about how stupid you people are, and now I am going to return to my life as a.. weasel!" Minato said cheerfuly as he turned into a real weasel much to the confusion of everyone. The weasel Hokage ran off into the distance.

"Da fuck did I see?" A random ninja blurted out. Everyone shrugged and went back to scheming on how to make Naruto Uzumaki's life Hell.

* * *

Naruto groaned as he was dropped off into the main menu again for the hundredth time. No matter what he did, the civilians and ninjas kept thinking it was him that went on a robbing spree even though he was at the academy the whole time. Naruto believed that the Hokage could get him out, but it seems like the Third gave to much power to the civilian council and Danzo. He was usually executed in front of peope, but he went wild with anger sometimes, heck he even marooned them, so they just killed him right there. Naruto wasn't going to take this shit again. He thought up of a plan and said, **"Load Game".**

Naruto fell into the abyss and quickly looked away from the hundreds of people in the harlem shake. Naruto figured that it may be a punishment for dying. He fell all the way before he landed into the body of himself that was standing over the toilet which had the save point. He slammed into it and he once again was part of the jacked up world. Naruto wondered how he never got arrested for no reason in his original life.

Naruto opened the door and went into his living room. He winced at the bad condition, but seriously, what's the point of cleaning when there's a chance you'll probably never come back. He kicked an empty ramen cup out of the way and jumped over a small pile of clothes. The living room had no paint at all, no rugs on the floor, and the wood was damaged from all the mobs, probably beyond repair. He opened another door and entered his room. Like the living room, this had no paint, no rugs, and the wood was damaged. The only thing that signified that someone managed to survive here was the bed in the corner next to a nightstand, and the closet full of his orange clothing. Naruto has no idea why he likes orange when he gets drunk, he just does. Naruto shrugged, it was a good exercise skill anyways, behind able to paint the Hokage Monument and not be caught until your almost done even though you are in orange clothing, and the paint you are using is very colorful.

Naruto stepped out onto the balcony and breathed in the fresh air. It felt so good to him. Right now he shouldn't even be breathing this air. He should be dead and be in a musty old coffin. Naruto shook his head away from the fact that he literally cheated death in a weird way. Naruto looked over Konoha. The village he had protected for so long. The village that hates his guts, and makes him defeat tons of A-rank and S-rank people just so they could love him. A breeze came and hit Naruto. it felt good having the cold biting winds hiting you. Naruto gave one last look at Konoha before he summoned one million shadow clones. "YOSH! I WANT THIS ViLLAGE PAINTED IN EVERY COLOR OF THE RAINBOW, INCLUDING ORANGE! SWITCH ALL THE FOOD WITH COAL, SWITCH ALL THE NINJA WEAPONS WITH PEANUTS, SWITCH ALL THE NINJA SCROLLS OF BOOKS OF WHY ORANGE IS AWESOME, AND SWITCH EVERY WOMAN'S HUSBAND WITH YOU IN A HENGE OF GUY! LETS DO THIS!" Naruto yelled to his practically own ninja village. 1/4 of them henged into supplies and another 1/4 of them grabbed them and then ran off. The five hundred thousand clones left behind set out to switch stuff around and henge into Guy.

To say that Konoha was happy the next day was not true. Hokage sighed as he looked through the last peanut, trying to find the Forbidden Scroll. Alas, that is not to be, for what he found was the: Forbidden Peanut.

* * *

"Naruto Uzumaki, your are hereby under arrest for the vandalism of all of... Konoha? You have painted everything in different colors, switched stuff out with other stuff and gave women mental scars which they may never recover from. Your sentence is a lifetime in prison." The judge said. Thankfully, this was a different judge than the one he usually gets. The one he usually gets is one that hates his guts because his guts literally harbors the Kyuubi Kitsune. Oh, you might say the Kyuubi Vixen from the looks of it. This judge right now hated Naruto truthfully, but he knew he had to be fair and not give him an evil sentence which would get him on bad terms with the Hokage.

"I PLEAD INOCENT!" Naruto yelled from his chair in front of the judge. "YOU GOT NOTHING ON ME! WHERES THE EVIDENCE! TELL ME, WHERES THE EVIDENCE!" The judge then realized something. They didn't have actual evidence. No evidence meant no case.

"SEND HIM TO THE GALLOWS!" People started yelling random comments and insults at Naruto which he took easily, impressing the judge at his mental control.

"Well, err... Uzumaki-san is actually right. We have no evidence so we can't do anything until we gather it. Hokage-sama," He said, about to ask the Hokage near Naruto something, "Can you please send some ninjas to find evidence, or ask your ANBUs or something."

"I already did judge-san. They didn't see anything or find anything for that matter that signifies that Naruto did anything. As far as we're concerned, Naruto has been sleeping all night at his home.

"THEN WHY WASN'T HE PRANKED!" Some of the villagers yelled. The Hokage got a thoughtful look on his face and looked towards Naruto.

"Well Naruto, do you have anything to say about that comment?"

"Yes, I do actually. As everyone knows I'm a huge prankster. One of the elites. People try to prank me to take my place so I build stuff that stops stuff. Oh you know, the usual stuff that you make. Seals that stop time, knocks someone out as soon as they enter the building with malicious intents, the seals that send someone to an another universe. A prankster king cant take down another prankster king that easily!" Naruto replied in such as casual tone, as if a time stopping seal, a knocking out seal, and a universe bending seal was normal.

"H-how!" The Hokage said, kind of scared of Naruto.

"How what? Why are you acting scared anyways Jiji?" Naruto said sarcastically.

"How did you make a frigging time stopping seal!"

"Oh, that? Pretty easy if you ask me." Naruto went into a explanation at which everybody lost track on the first word. "And that is how you make a time stopping seal!"

"Okay, so there is no evidence that Uzumaki is guilty, so he is free to go." The judge said as Naruto burst out into excitement. Naruto started to blabber and the judge had to strain his ears to understand what he was saying.

"I AM GOING TO RASENSHRUIKEN THIS PLACE FOR SAYING I'M GUILTY!" Even though the judge did not know what a rasenshruiken was, it sounded bad. Very bad. Maybe a vacation would be nice. Yes, a vacation to the Lightning country, about halfway across the world. A nice distance from what he felt was going to happen here.

The premonition of the judge came true. Naruto went happy-go-lucky and blew everything up with his ultimate level of rasenshruiken: True Fuuton: Kami Rasenshruiken Cord, in which he makes a hundred shadow clones which all make one huge ass rasenshruiken which is connected to another huge ass thing; a chakra string which would be used to swing it around. You think having a rasenshruiken thrown at you is bad. Well think again, having one that will keep coming at you is worse.

**Five days later**

"So, Naruto-kun, I heard you destroyed the village that I hated. You are the perfect vessel!" Orochimaru said as he came out of the trees and into the clearing where Naruto was camping. "AND LOOK AT THAT ASS!" He yelled as he pointed to Naruto's butt.

"Uhh, are you still mad about that seal that stops you from raping little boys?"

"Yes, I still am MAD! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU ANYWAYS! FUCKING LITTLE BOYS IS WHAT I LIVE FOR! NOW, I SHALL MAKE YOUR LIFE TURN TO BECOMING THE PERFECT VESSLE FOR ME!" Orochimaru laughed into the air.

"Err, you do realize that the Kyuubi could just kick you out."

"Haven't thought about that. Tushay, Naruto-kun, tushay."

"Soo, wanna play cards?"

"Sure!"

And that is how the Toad Sannin -who rushed to Konoha after he found at what happened- came upon the scene of his old teammate and now traitor playing cards with the Kyuubi's Jinchuriki, his godson.

"Full House, I win." Naruto said. "Now give me that jutsu you've been telling me about. I really want to know how to make a water dragon."

"Fine. Here are the handseals." Orochimaru said as he showed Naruto the handseals.

"Hey, Orochimaru, you do realize my godfather is spying on us right now."

"Yes, I know that. It is saddening that he is still not a little kid. We could have so much fun. But I'm sure that if you take the seal you put on me off, we could make a lot of racket, Naruto-kun."

"Nah, no can do. I'm still wondering what to do. After Konoha tried to arrest me for something that they had no evidence of me doing even though I did do it, and then I blew up Konoha, I have found nothing to do."

"Well, you can take off the seal on me and live with me!" Orochimaru suggested.

"Hey, instead of going with you, give me 10 jutsus and I'll give you a certain person I sealed into a scroll. And yes, I sealed a living person in a scroll which connects to another dimension with food."

"Well that's interesting, but first I want to see who it is. I don't want to be scammed." Orochimaru stated.

"Sure, let me put some blood on it and then some chakra."

*Poof*

Sasuke landed on the floor and he quickly jumped up and entered a battle stance.

Cue girlish screams from Orochimaru.

"How did you know I wanted this!"

"Orochimaru, how could I not?"

"Instead of 10 jutsus, I'll teach you 100 jutsus gladly!"

"YAAAAAAAY!"

Jiryia of the Sannin, the Toad Hermit, one of those who connected with nature itself, fainted from confusion.

All Sasuke could do was scream. Ever since that day, Sasuke was never the same.

* * *

**Yo guys, I'm finished with my new chapter. As I've said before, I'm skipping around with time skips and stuff so don't expect two chapters to be connected in any way, until they along with some other chapters become the real chapter 2. Anyways, I am trying to build up my humor skill, believe it or not, I'm actually apathetic. Yup. Go figure. I try to act normal, but it is hard to, and it is even harder to make my stories even the littlest part of my story funny. Also, I'm going to accept suggestions; put them in the review section or message me! I really need ideas, and if possible, send me a little humor line that I could put into an appropriate place in my story! **

**Brought to you by: ImaIceColdWeasel and antishock. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Naruto: Game of the Year.**

**Why, You Damn Update!**

A figure flew up into the sky, defying gravity itself. He gathered a humongous amount of chakra and said two devastating words. "_Shinra Tensei." _The chakra released as he said the name of the technique. The amount of chakra was so big that even the babies in Konoha could sense it. Seriously, who could not sense their impending doom? Then it all stopped. A single second of silence. That one second everyone wanted to keep forever. They wanted it to last forever. Their eyes widened in fear as their hopes did not come true; that second never lasted. Time did not agree with the mortals. In an alternative universe, time may have stopped for an hour, but here everything was doomed.

Hell came. A wind came out of nowhere pushing everything back. Some ninjas tried to stick to the ground with chakra but alas, no such thing worked. They were ripped off the ground and thrown. The civilians were faring worse. At least the ninja could soften the impact with their chakra, but these civilians had no such thing to protect them. Babies were flying around, civilians were thrown up so high in the air, they had no chance of surviving. A tornado randomly appeared and a house and a which flew around in it. And was that a weasel with blonde fur disappearing in a yellow flash? Anyways, everything pushed backwards, no matter what position it was in, not matter how much it was rooted into the ground, no matter how durable it was, they flew. Quite magnificently if you asked me. The blast slowly reached the people on the outer section of Konoha. They knew that there would be no point in running so they just stayed there. It was inevitable. Death came. Now the blast reached the abandoned Uchiha sector. Ghosts of the Uchiha tried to use their hidden taijutsu, the **_Ballerina,_ **to somehow fight the air. They were blown back to, even though they are ghosts. Who cares how they were thrown, they're ghosts, we'll probably never understand them.

The wind of the technique reached the end of Konoha. If you looked at Konoha you would want to run away from whatever caused it. Iwa would probably praise that person. Kumo would be mad because the Hyuuga would die out. Suna would cry for their bretheren. Kiri would probably try to hid from the destroyer while some of the blood-line haters will treat that person as a god, ironically enough, for destroying the bloodlines of Konoha. The now floating figure gently dropped to the ground of the destroyed village. Cries of those who survived came from all around, mournful for those who had not survived. Grunts of pain came from those who died. In one place, a genin team that consisted of a Rookie of the Year, and a medic were crying at the sight of their crushed teammate who was a Hyuga. The Rookie of the Year had lost a eye, and the medic transplanted the Hyuuga's eye into the Rookie of the Year's eye at the Hyuuga's request. They heard the surrounding rocks about to cave in and they looked at their friend mournfully, as if not wanting to leave him. The crushed Hyuga told them to go so they did. The rocks caved in and the boy fell into a cavern. When he woke up he saw the sights of Orochimaru licking his balls. He fainted and Orochimaru grinned as he thought about what he could do with him.

Pein looked at all the destruction he called. Then it came. A small poof. No you sillies, it's not Naruto, you have to wait for Sakura to cry out for him. Nope, it was Weenie the Poo. "Do you have any honey?" Poo asked. He immediately died.

"NARUUUTOOOO!" Ahh, there is the cry of the banshee. *Poof* Now Naruto is here. Let the fun begin.

Naruto looked at all the destruction around him. He shrugged, he has seen worse. On top of Gamakichi he looked to the spot Pein was when originally fought him. Where is he? Oh there he is. Naruto jumped off the summons head and told them, "I just wanted you guys here for a flashy entrance. Bye!" The toads looked at him, amused, before Naruto snapped his fingers and they disappeared. Naruto looked at Pein and said one technique. _"Doujutsu Eye Henge: Rinnegan Full Power." _Pein looked at him as if he was asking Naruto he was serious. Then he saw it. The blue eyes of Naruto was gone. In place there was a pale purple color with six dark purple rings. Pein was surprised. The Rinnegan that Naruto bore held even greater power than his own. "Your probably wondering how I have Rinnegan. You see, I have a special henge. It was very different that a normal henge or outward henge. No, this one is way different. This is an actual physical change. I used my physical henge to create Rinnegan in my eyes. This also leads to another question. How do I know which optic nerves connect to certain parts of my new eyes. Ero-sennin took down one of your old paths and it was prodded. I only had to do a medical jutsu to see the optic nerves. I don't understand something though. Why didn't Konoha just implant the Rinnegann into ba-chan, or Kakashi-sensei? People really are stupid. And why am I explaining this to you?"

Pein nodded at that. It was true, all Konoha had to do was implant his Rinnegan eyes into someone and they could probably match him if they had enough chakra. And he also didn't know why Naruto just told him what he did. It didn't matter if he couldn't do it himself. He shrugged and said his motto. "I am a God, you can't defeat me." Pein looked at Naruto only to see him reading a book.

"Yeah yeah, keep talking, I need to finish this last chapter." Naruto said in a provoking tone. Pein didn't let it get to him as he slipped a rod from his sleeve and into his hand.

"Uzumaki Naruto, just give up for world peace." Pein said in a monotone voice, no emotion in it.

"Tell me, if there is world peace, then what would be the national food?"

"Peanuts."

"FUCK NO! IM GONNA KILL YOU!" Naruto rushed at him and prepared a rasengan. Only to have the Preta path absorb it. Only to have Naruto use more chakra. It went back and forth. Then the Preta path blew up into nothingness.

"You surprise me, Naruto Uzumaki. You are truly strong as my sibling peer should be." Pein said to Naruto, expecting Naruto to react to him being a student of Jiriya.

"Nah, we aren't sibling peers, we are relatives. If I go up my family ladder then you are my fifth cousin." Naruto stated. Now that surprised Pein. He was related to the Kyuubi's container? Pein was very confused. Naruto took advantage of that fact and sat down to read the last chapter of his book.

The time limit that was put on defeating Pein was reaching its limit.

50

51

52

A shout came from the sky and a gigantic rasenshruiken hit all of the paths and destroyed them fully before they could dodge. Meanwhile a Naruto clone at Nagato's hidden temporary base chopped the back of Nagato's neck, effectively knocking him out. The Naruto clone then made some handsigns and said a jutsu. " Outer Path: Samsara of Heavenly life Technique." Even though it had a bijuu level chakra requirement, Naruto didn't feel the drain. The King of Hell appeared and souls came out and they traveled to find the body of someone, ready to heal them if they were crushed. After a few milli-seconds of waiting for something it came.

**-Congratulations, you have unlocked Sage Naruto!**

Now you probably are wondering, 'How long has it been for Naruto to complete all the requirements?' Well, it took Naruto 5 years to do it. Naruto found out a little trick that he was generously rewarded for finding out about it. Naruto was sitting in the character room while starting a new game. He wished that he could make copies of him that could do it for him. Then he realized it. Why not make durable Shadow Clones? Unlike regular Shadow Clones, the durable ones only go pop when they are killed like a regular person. Naruto made them and sent them to make their own new games, and do requirements for him.

A seal flew towards the front of the real Naruto at the battle field. A yellow flash appeared and a weasel with blonde fur stood on top of the seal. "Naruto, my son, I am so proud of you!" The weasel said.

**"KILL IT!"** The Kyuubi yelled in the back of his mind.

"I AM!" Naruto yelled back at the Kyuubi. "SHINRA TENSEI!" The weasel gulped in fear before he was thrown far away. "Good it's gone." Naruto said, relieved that the weird weasel was gone. Then it happened.

Naruto stared at it. It was staring him right in the eye. It mocked him, daring him to destroy it. He hated every second of it. Why now? After growing his stats so high and finally unlocking Sage Naruto this just had to happen, didn't it? He glared at those floating words in front of him. He wished he could blow it up. Yeah, that sounded nice. Maybe he should ask Deidara, un. Maybe he should try rasenganing it? It could work. Or not.

**-Alert- Massive update taking place. All data will be erased except for Achievements and Items that have been stored. To store, please say "Store All Items". This Command only works when a Massive update is taking place. 14 hours left until update starts. Update will take an estimated 3 hours. Fast Forward is not allowed for the world must be completely updated. I repeat, Fast Forward is not allowed. Would you like to start Update right now? Yes No**

Naruto almost died right there. Well, at least he would have his items. "Store All Items."

**-Storing Items... l/****-l 75%**

**l/l 100% Finished.**

**- Would you like to begin update?**

"Yes." Naruto said resentfully. Why did this have to happen now?

-**Would you like to view update details?**

"Yes."

**-New characters added.**

**-Added 'Academy' feature.**

**-Stats now also upgrade by doing what they say -Ex: Running boosts speed.**

**-Added new skills into Skill Section.**

**-Added 'Mission Room'.**

**-Added Quests.**

**-New features to Sandbox added.**

-**Patched glitches.**

**-Deleted Game Shop and real stores are used instead.**

**-Random Jutsu deleted.**

**-Added 'Starter Class' option.**

**-Increased Orochimaru's Pedophileness.**

**-New Tv channel -Channel 46 - Orochi and Beary's Pedo Talk.**

-**Added interactive paths. Every movement and thought may change what happens.**

**-Adding new options to Options.**

**-Added new objectives to Objectives.**

**-Added Temples of Spirits.**

**-Added Ultra-rare SpongeBob Jutsu.**

**-Anybody who learns of the 'Game' will lose their memory of it in the next 20 seconds.**

**-Added Glitch Report Section. Each glitch reported gives rewards depending on how big the glitch.**

**-Training gives double the benefit than normal people. Gives more if a special item is worn.**

**-Deleted the Advanced Learning System.**

**-Added new Stat system. You can now insert stat points or take them out.**

**-New Pause dimension. (A/N What I mean by this is that when Naruto pauses the game, instead of time just freezing over, allowing him to see everything and analyze, Naruto is sent to another dimension while time is stopped in ****his world.)**

**-Help Book added.**

**-Added Gamer Score.**

**-Madara now has Peanut Summoning Scroll.**

"I am going to find you and rip you apart with my bare hands, one by one. You shall feel the terror!" Naruto screamed.

**-Deleted Herobrine**

"Seriously, who's Herobrine?

**-Updating l/************l 25%**

Naruto waited a few more minutes until the bar went up to 100 and finished. Naruto let a tear fall from his eyes as he realized that all of his stuff disappeared. Naruto fell to his knees and openly cried for a few minutes.

"WAAAAAAAH!"

The Kyuubi had no idea what was happening so he went along with it.

"**WAAAAAAAH!"**

* * *

After a few hours of moping Naruto was thrown into the white box of terror. Trembling, Naruto slowly picked himself up and said, "**New Game." **Instead of the usual vortex, a crab grabbed his hands and took him into a large hole -while trying to pickpocket Naruto. The crab threw Naruto into the whole and Naruto flew into the Character Selection room. Naruto got up and dusted the non-existent dust on him off. Naruto looked at all the characters in the room. One caught his eye.

"Well, that's new."

A character that looked like Naruto stood proudly with ten tails whipping around. His eyes were pale -like the Byakugan- it had three commas like marks in a pyramid formation -I'm sure you know where that is from- and it had six purple rings in a circle.

Naruto shifted his head to the left of that character. He then screamed.

The **Peanut Lover** character stood grinning evily as if he had planned this to happen.


End file.
